A list of puns related to "Work Songs"
Itβs my jingle bell rock.
[person B]: This one is quite.... fine
Me: Yikes! What is The Cure?
Doctor: Oh my God. It is worse than I thought!
I tried searching for that once. Unfortunately, it was blocked.
Me: I turned Pandora off, but it is still playing and I would have to completely close all my school work tabs to shut the stupid thing down. Several songs later, and it still won't go away. ):|
Him: You have opened Pandora's Box.
...He could hear from the music and the roar of all the people, it sounded like it was going to be a lot of fun so he got in line to buy a ticket. Once inside he ran into Sally, whom he'd had a massive crush on since grade 3, seven long years ago. They danced up a storm all night, and he felt like tonight was going to "end well". 10 or 15 songs later they had worked up quite a thirst. They meandered over to the drink table and asked the guy in front of them if this was the line to get a drink, and he replied "That's right, this is the punchline".
Daughter: "Dad, do you know the song 'Chandelier'?"
Me: <Sing a few lines>. "You mean that one?"
Daughter: "Yeah!"
Me: <Think for a moment> "No, never heard it."
I've tried it and it works with other songs too!
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
A guy was playing music while trying to sell his CDs. Between songs, he threw this out there: "Bought myself an AM radio the other day; I was really happy when I found out it still works in the evening!"
So Colin Hay (from Men at Work) is on stage singing some great songs. Just him and a guitar. Someone yells "You fucking rock!"
Colin Hay responds "Tonight I'm doing more folking than rocking. I will folk you hard."
So I was driving around with my friend who is addicted to that "What Does the Fox Say?" song (so annoying). I almost hit a squirrel which brought up conversation about hitting/almost hitting animals.
Him: "Yeah the other day I almost hit a fox coming home from work."
Me: "Oh really? What did it say?"
Him: "-__-"
I think I laughed at that joke to myself for a good five minutes.
My dad works at a church, and stopped into a birthday celebration for a member of our funeral choir. After asking for a piece of cake, they insisted that he sing a song. After singing, something they said he should join their choir to which he responded: "I heard people are dying just to hear you guys sing."
He told me they all groaned at him, but I laughed at that.
I had just gotten off the phone with my wife on the car bluetooth and the radio came on. Of course Adele's Hello started playing (why is this song so overplayed?) so I pretended it was another call and started replying to her. It works for the first few verses.
The the kitchen I work in, two of the cooks normally have the local Latino top 40 station on the radio. Last night, a bachata song was playing on the radio, when one of my coworkers asked one of the cooks, Omar, about it. I noticed he had a huge grin on his face. I knew something was up.
Coworker: "Hey Omar, what is this stuff on the radio?"
Omar: "It's bachata, te gustas? [do you like it?]"
Coworker: "Oh yeah guey, I love horchata."
Omar then gives my coworker the much needed groan, while I laugh my ass off.
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