Spirituals Puns

spirituality has lost its spirit and it's now just a ritual

A Boodist.

The dolly llama.

A premeditated murder

It's a not-for-prophet organization.

...I feel like The Flash, because I too, am enlightening Bolt.

They wern't present

We know he frequently fasted which made him somewhat frail and caused bad breath. We also know that he often went without shoes, making the souls of his feet very tough.

This made him a... Super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

(I’ll see myself out)

I think it was a sign.

... you dilly dally in the Dalai's deli daily.

Everything harpoons for a reason

chihuahua

Watermelohm

I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that Gandhi was a super fragile, calloused mystic suffering from halitosis.

That's because they're insects

I have a childhood friend called Maria. Lately she found her spiritual side and because of this all of her preferences changed. What kind of music do you think she listen to now? MariaCHI

I was asking my girlfriend about her yoga classes, and she said she wasn't really into the spiritual side of yoga, and it weirds her out when some instructors end the class with a communal 'ohmmmm'.

Me: So you're saying there's some resistance to the ohm?

She laughed. She's a keeper.

Martial arts is as much spiritual training as it is physical training. In fact, there is a school of martial arts in Korea where practitioners would spend large portions of the day just meditating.

As they train their spirits to ponder over their place in the universe, the practitioners would also train their bodies to forgo the needs of the physical world. The practitioners would endure days on end without sleep, and live on a single loaf of bread for an entire month.

As they meditate, they would repeat the mantra: “I am one with the universe, it sleeps not so I shall not sleep. This bread is my only worldly attachment but I shall only TAKE ONE DOUGH”

Dad: "You know, we're actually descendants of one of the oldest native tribes in this part of the country, right?"

Me: "Really?"

Dad: "Yeah, The Fagawee tribe. I remember when I was little, your grandpa took me on a spiritual pilgrimage through the forest. He drank a lot and smoked some native herbs. The herbs didn't seem to be working, though, because as it got darker, we seemed to be walking in circles. It was cold in the woods and we seemed to keep coming across the same old log. Finally, in the middle of my dad's spiritual trance, he fell to his knees in a clearing, raised his hands high, and proclaimed "We're the Fawagwee!"

Translation: ("Where the fuck are we?")