What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is at all times?
Am elderly woman that was hard of hearing went to Kaiser to get her meds. The pharmacist said "That will $111.00." The women misheard it as $11, paid with cash, and left. The pharmacist said to himself.....
"I guess $5 profit is better than nothing."
After many failed relationships, I started dating a woman in a wheelchair.
She hasn’t walked out on me yet.
I met a woman who only had one leg. She called herself
I asked this woman if her name was hyphenated
She said "no, it's Ann-Marie."
I have just started a relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding but quite challenging though...
It took months to get her husband's voice right.
A woman was on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
Judge asked, “First offender?” She says, “No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender.”
I yelled "COW!" at a woman on bike
I yelled "COW!" at a woman on a bike, she flipped me off and then ran straight into the cow.I tried!
Why did the woman fall in love with a lumberjack?
What is the similarity among frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant woman?
Somebody forgot to take it out on time.
What’s 6 inches long and makes a man groan when a woman touches it?
The best part about dating a homeless woman is...
You can drop her off anywhere
I heard a story about a woman who got plastic surgery to have 12 breasts.
Woman 1: I'm concerned my son only eats the vowels in alphabet soup.
Woman 2: Why?
Woman 1: Sometimes...
What did the postal worker say to the woman looking for a job?
Sorry, only mails work here.
A woman was late for church. As she ran up the steps she asked someone leaving “Is Mass out?”
They replied “No, but your hat is on crooked.”
What do you call a single woman who is bad at directions?
How do you defeat Wonder Woman?
Return her, she is from the Amazon.
Why do they say “amen” instead of “a woman” at the end of songs at church?
‘Cause they’re hymns not hers.
What was the name of the one legged woman?
What would you call iron man if he was a woman?
A woman said she knew me from the vegetarian party
But I never met herbivore.
A woman walks up to a librarian and asks, "Do you have any books on Pavlov's dogs and Schrödinger's cat?"
“It rings a bell but I don’t know whether it’s here or not.”
When Dad was young, he felt he was trapped in a woman's body
A policeman stops a woman for driving over the speed limit.
A policeman stops a woman for driving over the speed limit. The policeman approaches the window and the woman says to the cop:”I thought that you didn’t give ticket to pretty women”The policeman answers:”Actually, we don’t. So sign here please.”
A Woman just stopped me on the sidewalk, said she recognised me from the vegetarian club..
But I'm certain I hadn't met herbivore..
In most households, the woman makes the first pot of coffee in the morning. But when it comes to Jewish households...
I had sex with a blind woman
She said that I was the biggest she'd ever had.
I said, "You're pulling my leg."
Why did the woman put bullets in her shampoo?
She wanted to make sure her hair had bangs.
30 Something Woman
I may have lost my virginity but I still have the box that it came in.
My Gran fell asleep last night with a cigarette in her hand. That woman was the best thing since sliced bread.
A woman was leaving a tattoo shop and decided to flash the artist in lieu of paying cash
I guess they had a tit-for-tat agreement
Woman: Can I try on that dress in the window?
Assistant: If you like, but most people use the changing rooms.
What pronouns do you call an woman who likes chocolate?
What would Wonder Woman and Spider-Man name their business?
Woman: Dr Dr. You gotta help me... My 3 sons all want to be valet drivers when they grow up...
It seems you have parking sons disease. There's nothing else I can do fer ya.
I’ve been chatting with a woman I matched with who lives across the pond in England, and next week I’m finally going to fly out to visit. I’m so excited to immerse myself in British culture..
But most of all I can’t wait to meter.
Vet is explaining what’s wrong with a woman’s dog and says “I think I’m going to have to put him down.” Woman: “Oh my God, is it that bad?!?”
Vet: “No, he’s just really heavy.”
had to tell my wife a woman was hitting on me at the grocery store.
I bumped into her by mistake and immediately apologized. She looked at me and said, "oh, you're fine."
Marvel just announced the first MCU film to feature trans woman heroes.
I was a man stuck in a woman's body.
Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced. “My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!” The bartender inquired. “What makes you say that?” Bill beamed with pride, “Last week, I had to take a couple of sick days from work..."
"Suzie was so thrilled to have me around, that every time a mail or delivery person came by, she’d run down the driveway waving her arms hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”
I yelled "COW!" at a woman on bike
I yelled "COW!" at a woman on a bike, she flipped me off and then ran straight into the cow.I tried!
Why I was very young, I felt like I was a male trapped in a woman's body
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