Old man comes into a restaurant, sits at his usual table, and orders the usual β€” matzoh ball soup...

The waiter sets it down in front of him, and stands back to watch him enjoy it. But the man just sits there.

β€œIs there something wrong?” the waiter asks.

β€œI can’t eat this soup,” the man replies.

β€œIs it too hot?” the waiter asks. β€œNo.” β€œToo cold?” β€œNo.” β€œToo salty?” β€œNo.”

The waiter calls for the maitre d’, and for the chef, and each goes through the same routine: β€œToo hot?” β€œToo cold?” β€œNo, no no.”

Finally the chief, at his wits end, says, β€œSir, I will taste the soup myself. Where is the spoon?”

Says the old man: β€œA-ha!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2016
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The time my Dad went above and beyond the call of duty, at a formal dinner party

Picture this.

A fancy Christmas dinner party at his new wife's opulent, sandstone estate house. Plates are being cleared from the lengthy, mahogony table that seats the fourteen well-to-do guests, the main course having just finished. All have feasted gloriously on our Christmas fare.

My Dad, playing the good host, picks up two bottles of wine, one white and one red, and proceeds to do a round of the table, chatting amiably with everyone as he circles. Those whose glasses are less than 90% full, he proceeds to top-up. I am sitting in the very centre of the long table, seated directly opposite a very well off lady in her early sixties, by the name of Margaret. My dad, having just topped off my glass, is now standing directly behind me.

This older woman, full of grace and charm, looks to my Dad and says, "Thank you so much for this glorious meal, John. It's been simply divine."

My Dad, "Not at all, Margaret, not at all. Could I charge your glass?"

Margaret, "Oh, no no, thank you. I've got the bottle in front of me!"

My Dad, quick of wit, and with a sneaky - yet charming - grin on his face, responds, "Ah, well, better that than a frontal lobotomy!"

I've never been more proud of him.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/rolloxan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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