Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Now I live in a cottage with 6 other dwarfs and I work in a mine.
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
But my arms aren’t strong enough
I’ll ‘Grant’ it
Solve its own problems like everyone else.
Does that make a fart a nightmare of the stomach?
It sucks
Me: “I don’t know, I wasn’t listening”
Dino-SARS
Pine
but I’m knot
It's just water under the fridge.
Taken from fb
A genie-ologist.
...but then my life would be meetingless.
Hindsight is 2020
It was his vinyl request.
It was a real groundbreaking invention
Bartender: "Hold on there buddy, what's in the box?"
Man: "I'll show you if you give me a free drink
The bartender agrees and the man lifts the lid of the box to show a tiny man, who starts playing an equally tiny piano.
Bartender: "That's amazing! Where did you find him?"
Man: "There's a genie outside granting free wishes. But if you go out there, be sure to speak up, because I think he is hard of hearing."
Bartender: "Why do you say that?"
Man: "Do you think I would've wished for a twelve-inch pianist?"
Disclaimer: Not original.
They took one of their prized possessions—The Star of The Empire, one of the worlds largest diamonds—to a famous yet discreet pawn shop outside of Las Vegas to ask for a loan.
The pawnbroker said "So I talked to my buddy who is an expert in diamonds to get his opinion. I can give you $200,000 for it."
Prince Harry said "You must be joking, I had this appraised at nearly 2 million pounds! Don't you know who I am, I'm a prince! My mother is Queen of The United Kingdom, Elizabeth II!!"
The pawnbroker said "$200k, take it or leave it. When you wish to pawn a star, makes no difference who you are..."
I would be a malty millionaire by now.
Genue: weurd but alrught.
Whenever I see a sharp, I wish it could just be flat
That’s a lot of pressure.
So we could call them Breakfast Epiphanies
It was a gloomy day for a funeral. The widow weeped quietly in the front row. A distinguished gentleman approached her and said "Ma'am, I'm so sorry for your loss. Would you mind if I said a word?" "Please do", she replied. He stands, straightens his tie, and says "Plethora." Then he sits down. "Thank you," she said.
"That means a lot."
Then he could be named Broda.
The ones I know are too crappie.
He runs the lamp and a genie pops outs, and says, “I’ll grant you three wishes, but your ex wife gets twice whatever you wish for.” The man thinks for a minute and says, “Okay first wish is for a million dollars.” “Okay” says the genie, “your ex wife also now has two million dollars” The man thinks for another minute and says, “ I wish for a Lamborghini” “As you wish” says the genie “your ex now has two Lamborghinis” Finally after a few minutes the man says, “for my final wish, I wanna be beaten half to death”
So I could have twice as many dad jokes.
but it's growing on me.
He wishes he was a millionaire, too.
Rather worried, Noah said “But my Lord, have the people not been good this time? Must there be another flood?”
“No, there will not be a flood, the people have been good.” Said the Lord.
“Then why another ark?” Asked Noah.
“I wish for this ark to only house fish.” The Lord replied.
A slightly confused Noah responded “Okay... I shall do as you wish my Lord.”
“But not just any fish; only carp.” The Lord said unto him.
Noah, now more bemused, replied “Uh- okay my Lord.”
“One more thing.” The Lord said unto him “it needs to have multiple levels.”
“Are you sure my Lord? What is the purpose of this? What on earth is it all for?” Noah pressed.
And God said: “I want you to build a multi-story carp-ark.”
Passed from my father unto me, to pass onto my son when he becomes a father.
Ummm... let me see...
The mailman responded with, "And a good afternoon to you, Femalewoman!"
Steve: "I wish I was rich."
Genie: "What’s your second wish, Rich?"
That’s a lot of pressure.
That’s a lot of pressure.
