Finally my winter fat has gone...
Now, I have spring rolls.
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
You are lost in winter but find a cabin. You find it has a fireplace, a kerosene lamp and a stove, but you only have one match. What item in the cabin do you light first?
I'm planning to implement a new weight-loss method that will require people to wear winter gloves making it harder for them to eat.
I will call it "Inter-mitten fasting".
I was watching my son play a Zelda game and I told him it's more effective to lose your health during the summer and winter seasons. He looked at me all confused and asked why? I told him it's because...
that way you won't take any fall damage.
What do you call an American living in Russia during the winter?
Why should you never wear moccasins outside during Winter?
Because it can get a little slippery out there.
What's the most dangerous part of New York in the winter?
I thought I could hear Tubular Bells on my farm this winter...
But it was just my cold field.
I have always preffered winter more than summer
Because in winter you can keep adding more layers until you are warm but in summer you can only take off so many before you are arrested
A man & his wife were taking a winter stroll & admiring the trees that were glistening white with ice & snow. A stranger walked past them and said, “Beautiful hoar-frost!”
The man replied, “Why thank you kind sir, but my name’s not Frost.”
On the eve of a record breaking cold winter night, a wife notices her husband run to the backyard with a bucket in his hand.
She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that he’s cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. She’s puzzled for a second and then says:
Icy, what you did there.
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
What do you call a dog in winter?
Dads everywhere, every winter solstice at sunset
I dropped the perfect terrible pun at work last winter...
So there were 6 of us...
With freezing rain pouring down on us at the end of a long work day, and in the middle of a daunting task- pulling underground cables, linking four transformers together (a task where something goes wrong about 50% of the time)
There is a jet line (pulling line) attached to the head of the cable being ran, and as we are nearing completion I hear my foreman (standing at the endpoint) yell "THE JET LINE IS FRAYING!!!".
Without pause I scream back "I was a FRAYED this would happen!"
The tension on the line ceases, and I look around and see 5 blank expressions just staring back at me.
Best day of my comedic life
I was unprepared for a pun about Canadian winter hats...
It really toque me by surprise!
What do athletes wear during winter?
Since moving to Finland I’ve become addicted to winter sports
It started off with sledging which has finally lead to ski jumping. It’s a real slippery slope
The bear couldn't decide whether to go north or south for the winter
What can you catch from a vampire in the winter time?
What piece of winter clothing is edible?
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
I was going to buy my kid this winter coat we saw at the mall, but I couldn't afford it.
Just saw a video of a guy sending his daughter into the store to buy winter air for their car tires.
Any other good jokes like that to play on my family?
What’s Irish, stays out all summer and goes inside in winter?
How else would they stay warm all winter?
Dora and Diego visit the North West in winter
Dora and Diego travel to the Pacific Northwest in the middle of winter. Suddenly they realise that there is a problem with their car, so they quickly pull into a nearby garage. The mechanic comes out and asks them "so what's wrong with your car?" Dora replies:
"Wiper no Wiping!!"
How did the trees fell when winter was finally over?
Christmas pun - Joaquin in a Winter Wonderland
I experience winter for the first time in 26 years, and i have to say
Be careful if you kids show an interest in winter sports...
It’s the start of a slippery slope
Why do less marriages take place in winter
Because most of the brides get cold feet.
I think my multivitamin gets jealous in the winter
I take extra D on the side that time of year
During winter, antarctica does not have
I guess spring is one the way... birds singing, animals emerging from winter dens, trees budding with potential...
Feeling cold in winter?
Just stand in a corner, it has 90 degrees there!
Why did the bee survive winter?
Because it wore a yellow jacket.
Finally my winter fat has gone...
Now, I have spring rolls.
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Why do birds fly south for the winter
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
Why do swallows fly south in winter?
Because it is too far to walk
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
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