Finally my winter fat has gone...
Now, I have spring rolls.
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︎ Jan 24 2021
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
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︎ Dec 29 2020
Did you know that Spiderman has a winter jacket made entirely of Mediterranean flat bread.
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︎ Feb 21 2021
Which weapon does the Grim Reaper use in the winter?
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︎ Mar 26 2021
I always keep an extra pair of gloves with me in the winter
Theyβre just a good thing to have on-hand
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︎ Feb 23 2021
I thought all the trees were broken when they lost their leaves this winter. They're starting to come back now though.
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︎ Mar 02 2021
You are lost in winter but find a cabin. You find it has a fireplace, a kerosene lamp and a stove, but you only have one match. What item in the cabin do you light first?
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︎ Jan 24 2021
I'm planning to implement a new weight-loss method that will require people to wear winter gloves making it harder for them to eat.
I will call it "Inter-mitten fasting".
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︎ Jan 25 2021
Did Texas survive last weekβs winter storms?
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Google Maps: Your route may be affected by winter storm Uri.
I hope youβre not in a Uri.
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︎ Feb 20 2021
What do you call an American living in Russia during the winter?
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︎ Feb 07 2021
Why should you never wear moccasins outside during Winter?
Because it can get a little slippery out there.
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︎ Jan 20 2021
I was watching my son play a Zelda game and I told him it's more effective to lose your health during the summer and winter seasons. He looked at me all confused and asked why? I told him it's because...
that way you won't take any fall damage.
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︎ Feb 06 2021
My wife complains that I'm getting fat. So this winter I decided to diet.
It's called inter"mitten" fasting to keep my hands of food
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︎ Feb 13 2021
What's the most dangerous part of New York in the winter?
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︎ Jan 07 2021
I have always preffered winter more than summer
Because in winter you can keep adding more layers until you are warm but in summer you can only take off so many before you are arrested
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︎ Dec 22 2020
I thought I could hear Tubular Bells on my farm this winter...
But it was just my cold field.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
On the eve of a record breaking cold winter night, a wife notices her husband run to the backyard with a bucket in his hand.
She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that heβs cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. Sheβs puzzled for a second and then says:
Icy, what you did there.
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︎ Nov 20 2020
I dropped the perfect terrible pun at work last winter...
So there were 6 of us...
With freezing rain pouring down on us at the end of a long work day, and in the middle of a daunting task- pulling underground cables, linking four transformers together (a task where something goes wrong about 50% of the time)
There is a jet line (pulling line) attached to the head of the cable being ran, and as we are nearing completion I hear my foreman (standing at the endpoint) yell "THE JET LINE IS FRAYING!!!".
Without pause I scream back "I was a FRAYED this would happen!"
The tension on the line ceases, and I look around and see 5 blank expressions just staring back at me.
Best day of my comedic life
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︎ Oct 30 2020
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
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︎ Dec 18 2020
A man & his wife were taking a winter stroll & admiring the trees that were glistening white with ice & snow. A stranger walked past them and said, βBeautiful hoar-frost!β
The man replied, βWhy thank you kind sir, but my nameβs not Frost.β
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︎ Jan 09 2021
What do you call a dog in winter?
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Dads everywhere, every winter solstice at sunset
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︎ Dec 21 2020
I was unprepared for a pun about Canadian winter hats...
It really toque me by surprise!
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︎ Nov 12 2020
Winter is coming
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Why do I like winter?
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︎ Nov 17 2020
What do athletes wear during winter?
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Since moving to Finland Iβve become addicted to winter sports
It started off with sledging which has finally lead to ski jumping. Itβs a real slippery slope
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︎ Nov 23 2020
The bear couldn't decide whether to go north or south for the winter
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︎ Nov 24 2020
What can you catch from a vampire in the winter time?
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︎ Oct 07 2020
What piece of winter clothing is edible?
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︎ Oct 26 2020
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
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︎ Oct 25 2020
Just saw a video of a guy sending his daughter into the store to buy winter air for their car tires.
Any other good jokes like that to play on my family?
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︎ Aug 25 2020
I was going to buy my kid this winter coat we saw at the mall, but I couldn't afford it.
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Whatβs Irish, stays out all summer and goes inside in winter?
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︎ Jul 30 2020
How else would they stay warm all winter?
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︎ Jun 28 2020
Dora and Diego visit the North West in winter
Dora and Diego travel to the Pacific Northwest in the middle of winter. Suddenly they realise that there is a problem with their car, so they quickly pull into a nearby garage. The mechanic comes out and asks them "so what's wrong with your car?" Dora replies:
"Wiper no Wiping!!"
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︎ Aug 22 2020
My winter fat is gone!
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︎ Mar 22 2021
I thought all the trees were broken when they lost their leaves this winter. They're starting to come back now though.
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︎ Mar 02 2021
Finally my winter fat has gone...
Now, I have spring rolls.
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︎ Jan 28 2021
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
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︎ Nov 08 2020
Why do birds fly south for the winter
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︎ Sep 07 2020
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
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︎ Apr 01 2020
Why do swallows fly south in winter?
Because it is too far to walk
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︎ May 23 2020
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