Do you guys know where I can watch "Pun"?
It's supposed to be this new play on words.
True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling “I stepped on a Bee!”
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
What do you call someone who can't stop watching films with strong female leads?
I attached all my watches together, to make a belt
Today I donated my watch, phone and 100 euros to a poor guy
You don't know the happiness I felt as he put his knife back in his pocket
My wife asked me if I wanted to watch Batman Forever on Netflix.
I said, “No, only for the next couple of hours.”
I used to eat watches and clocks for every meal, but I had to stop.
It was too time consuming.
I just watched a documentary on Crystal Meth.
I think all documentary should be watched this way.
Watching my kid throw my brand new phone out the window is the last thing I wanted to see today...
Was watching Arrested Development the other day and my girlfriend made a groaner of a dad joke.
Lucille: “I have to get Dusty ice cream.”
GF: “Dusty ice cream doesn’t sound very good”
What would you call a walking mosquito?
So I just watched a documentary about beavers...
It was the best dam show I’ve ever seen!
My lesbian neighbors gave me a really cool Rolex watch for my birthday!
I don’t think they understood me when I said, “I wanna watch.”
I'm watching that new movie with Angela Jolie...
I just don't know how she got into my house.
Astronomers got tired watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours.
They decided to call it a day.
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.
The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"
"I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit.
Why is six afraid of seven?
7 was a well known 6 offender
Why did God tell Moses to watch his step?
He was standing on holey ground.
The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...
"...40 second birthday".
I was so proud.
I ate a watch the other day
It was time consuming. I ended up going back for seconds.
I watched a documentary on how they built the Golden Gate Bridge.
I really love watching The Bachelor.
I’m just worried he’s gonna call the cops.
Why can't they watch TV in Afghanistan?
Chicken watching cartoons pun
I know you big beautiful bastards can help me think of something. Could any of you make a pun about chickens watching cartoons or kids shows
Closely watch what happens
I really tried to get into watching dwarf MMA.
I just couldn’t, the fights were too short.
I wear two watches
I guess you could say I have two much time on my hands
Downloaded film Titanic for the family to watch this evening. Annoyingly Video and Sound has come across in separate files.
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the telly
I once watched a couple of cows smoke weed and play poker
I guess the steaks were pretty high
My daughter (6) and I were watching a show where the phrase “gelatinous mass” came up..
..so I blurted out, “That’s what jellyfish call church!”
rimshot
My girlfriend asked if we could have an old movie night and watch “Gaslight”
I told her “we already watched that together, don’t you remember?”
Finally got around to watching Dr Who…
I told my kid we were gonna watch Paw Patrol, but instead I just showed him footage of K9 units training.
Guess that makes me a papa troll.
My Grandpa always said "don't watch your money, watch your health."
Then one day when I was watching my health, he stole my wallet.
Company password
During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacremento"
When asked why they had such a long password, the employee rolled their eyes and said "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital!"
If someone will make a non-english movie called REDDIT, What do we need to watch it?
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
What do you get when you watch ' you've got mail", " steel magnolias", and " when Harry met sally"?
Some guy watches a bomb go off. He says...
"That blows"
My friend told me this one
Don't you hate people with watches?
Always have too much time on their hands.
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.
It must be the high Mercury content.
What do you call a belt made out of watches?
Why don’t they watch tv in Afghanistan
I made a belt out of watches
What Do You Call A Belt Made Of Watches?
I was watching the rotation of the Earth, but I got bored after 24 hours.
I tied all my watches to my belt
....It was a waist of time
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