Why doesn't a schizophrenic get scared on watching a horror movie?
He knows that he is not alone.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
Was watching a shark movie, when suddenly it ended unexpectedly
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
After watching Hubie Halloween I realized that every Adam Sandler movie takes place in the same universe.
Unfortunately, it's the one we live in.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
Made it while watching BvS. Idk why people hate it, it's a good movie
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jul 02 2020
So I just got back from watching the new Christopher Nolan movie. Here's my short review..
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 02 2020
What did Grandma say when her dentures fell out after watching watching a bad movie?
Hey Grandpa! I need motif!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 25 2020
I just finished watching a movie about graphs, but it was really disappointing.
The plot was predictable. The special f(x) was terrible.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 24 2020
We were watching the movie Gladiator and then saw picctures of the hero now...
Now he is a "glad he ate"er..
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 10 2020
Was watching a movie with my son tonight... he asked me what defcon was?
I told him it was a prisoner who couldnβt hear π
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 03 2020
What does Sigmund feel when he's watching a horror movie?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 18 2019
Made this while watching the movie with my girlfriend, she just groaned.
π︎ 23
π
︎ May 12 2019
I never expected the vintage movie I was watching to end with everyone doing a dance popular in the early 60s which is inspired by rock and roll.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 22 2019
What do cats and dogs do when theyβre watching a movie and have to go to the bathroom?
π︎ 13
π
︎ May 22 2019
Daughter (After watching scary movie) : Daddy Daddy what would you do if I dropped down dead in front of you ?
Me : Hmmmmm, I'd clean the knife.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 26 2019
When you are watching a cop movie and want to go right to the action scene
I'm gonna cut right to the chase
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 18 2019
My girlfriend had to fart while we were watching a movie but felt too embarrassed
GF: It hurts to hold it in and it's making my stomach feel bad.
Me: It's ok, you can fart in front of me. When you feel it coming, let it out slowly so it doesn't make a noise and sit directly on your butt so you'll trap it in and it won't smell.
GF: Wow, I didn't know you were my "Fart Teacher."
Me: I prefer "tutor."
π︎ 943
π
︎ Dec 01 2014
I was watching a war movie today and a guy's leg got blown off...
I couldn't tell whether it was CGI or a stump double
π︎ 82
π
︎ Jun 08 2014
My brother had a bad reaction to a nut while we were watching a Star Trek movie a while back
The incident is forever referred to as ,
"The Wrath Of Pecan"
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 20 2017
Watching the movie "In Search of Fellini" on Netflix with my dad
He says: "so they made a sequel to this called in search of linguini"
"..."
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 24 2018
I talked my dad into watching a samurai movie by calling it the Japanese equivalent of a Western.
Dad: "So it's an Eastern."
I walked right into that one.
π︎ 16
π
︎ May 12 2017
Dad and I were watching the movie Mute when we get to the sex scene...
He looked at me and this is what he said:
"He's just trying to make an Amish woman out of her"
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 23 2018
Was watching a movie on my phone
There was a dog barking in the movie, and a neighbors dog was barking at the same time. My girlfriend points this out and I turn to her with the biggest "this is my chance grin" and told her that it's just my surround hound system.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Mar 26 2016
After watching the new Star Trek movie in 3D
I took my 3D glasses off and said in a loud voice, "Oh my gawd. I still see 3D." Another viewer told he appreciated the joke.
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jul 25 2016
Watching the movie "Gravity"
I am a teacher. My students were watching the movie "Gravity." At the end, they were complaining about how bad it was (in terms of the Physics), so I said, "You're right. Gravity just doesn't hold the same weight that it used to."
π︎ 15
π
︎ May 29 2015
My dad was cooking and watching a movie on TV at the same time
I went in and asked him do you like it? He says "I haven't eaten it yet" so I point at the TV and say "No I meant that" and he replies "Idk I haven't eaten that either"
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jun 19 2016
My wife wondered why I always say "You're Welcome!" right after I start watching a movie
It's because the people who make the movie are so nice:
In the beginning, they always say "THX"!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 06 2017
Got my Wife While Watching Movie
Movie: Starts metronome and starts playing piano
Me: Hey....what do you call a dwarf on the subway?
Her:...
Me: A Metro Gnome!
Her: I hope you die.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 27 2016
While watching a movie with my inlaws, FIL asks "Do we have volume?"
Wife: "No, but I have mass."
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 03 2016
Watching a movie
My brother makes the observation that a character is having some serious hallucinations.
Me: "Yeah, she's tripping."
Dad: "Why, did she fall?"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 12 2016
While watching a movie with some friends, one friend said, "Water break!"
I responded with, "You're pregnant??"
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 16 2016
I was watching a movie tonight, when this popped up. This had me DOWN on the floor laughing and UP in knots.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 06 2013
My father and I were watching a drug deal in a movie...
When the trunk was opened to reveal numerous bags of cocaine...
Me: Look at all this powdered sugar!
Dad: Sweet!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 22 2015
Dad after watching the movie Frozen
Hans really made some bad decisions and is very cold-hearted. I guess from now on he'll be Hans Solo.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 31 2014
Watching some movie where a bunch of dog sledders end up having to eat the dogs
He points to the cats and goes
"If we eat them it'll be a cat-astrophe!"
Ugh
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 02 2014
My sister got dadjoked while watching a movie
My sister is a giant fan of sloths, and my dad laid this on her when they were watching a movie.
Dad: Have you seen the movie, March of the Sloths?
Sis: No.
Dad: They go 2 miles, and it's 12 hours long.
Sis: -__________-
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 17 2014
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
