I keep trying to teach my husband how to use chopsticks, but he walrus gets it wrong.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TrixyUkulele
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29
🚨︎ report
Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware convention?

To get a tight seal

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KushaKeith
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the most popular travel destination for walrus couples?

Tuskany.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nowenluan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the Walrus go to a Tupperware party?

He was looking for a tight seal.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrumSpace
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party?

He wanted to find a tight seal

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SHYLH143
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My pet walrus yells at fat animals

He's hippo critical

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ironic69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the walrus lick the envelope?

Because it was looking for a good SEAL!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jam219
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the Walrus go to the Tupperware party?

Cause he was looking for a tight seal.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_annabananna_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
🚨︎ report
Why do Walruses go to Tupperware parties?

Because they love a tight seal!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kelvintlmactae
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do walruses swim in salt water?

Because if they swam in peppered water they’d sneeze all the time.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Juggernautx22
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What's Donald Trumps spirit animal?

A Wall-rus.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad on Navy SEALs.

I was watching Captain Phillips with my parents:

Mom: That Navy SEAL looks a bit too chubby to be a SEAL.

Dad: Maybe he's a Navy Walrus.

Hilarious, dad, hilarious.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Angry_Spacepimp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad joked by a word document

So I'm working a summer desk job where one of my duties is to print and cut out stencils to use in labeling materials. I open up the stencils file so I can use an existing document and make sure I get the formatting right.

I was going to pick the first one when one near the bottom stood out. The document was named "Walrus". None of what the business does deals with aquatic life. All the other things are named after what they are, such as "Sheets" "Towels" etc. So, for curiosity's sake, I had to open the document--

And the stencil said "5-Foot Seal". I groaned at my desk.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/runaroundsue
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2014
🚨︎ report
from my old man

"Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party?" "Idk dad, why?" "He was lookin for a tight seal."

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mattyseeds04
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2015
🚨︎ report
So my dad was opening up the box for his new Kindle..

He was struggling a bit and my mom said that there might be a seal on it.. He just looks at her with a straight face and says, "No it looks more like a walrus." Goddammit

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fishlimbs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2013
🚨︎ report
We were discussing things to bring on our upcoming trip to Hawaii

My sister suggested bringing her waterproof camera to take pictures while we snorkel, and I advised her to look up the owner's manual to make sure that it could handle salt water.

Me: The salt water might wreck the seal.
Dad: Would it wreck the walrus?

All: groan

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mack_Kohl
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2014
🚨︎ report
Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party?

To find a tight seal

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ashton8329
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.