My Dad explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration
I was blown away by his transparency
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︎ Jun 04 2021
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︎ Oct 13 2020
If you have something urgent to say to your magician friend who you can only communicate with via mail...
You better use a Penn & Teller
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︎ Nov 30 2020
There's a new show on BBC where heroin junkies can determine via experts, how much money they've shot up over the years.
It's called,Cash in the Addict.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Via Facebook
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︎ Apr 15 2020
What do you call an apology sent via Morse Code?
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︎ Jul 21 2019
How do you send warships via email?
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︎ Mar 02 2020
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
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︎ Mar 15 2020
Broke up with my girlfriend Ruth via text this morning.
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︎ Feb 13 2020
My cousin is mute and likes to communicate via embroidery
I guess it's a version of sign language, sew to speak
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︎ Jun 23 2019
my dad just got dadjoked via group text
sister: wish I was there with you
Dad: catch a plane
sister: I don't have a big enough net
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︎ Nov 14 2014
Apparently you can now place an order with your local bakery and have it delivered to you via drone...
Sounds like pie in the sky to me.
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︎ Jun 28 2019
Fishing on an inland lake on an island this weekend with my daughter. This island generates lots of power via wind turbines. Anyway, We are on the lake and it gets rough and REALLY windy. Pretend to get mad and yell at the power station...
"Turn off the damn fans, I'm trying to fish over here and you are creating too much wind"...
groans ensue.....
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︎ Jul 03 2019
I knew a guy who got executed via guillotine
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︎ May 18 2019
Just science things :-) Via twitter: @DumbAsFucc
My dad passed away last year when my family couldnβt remember his blood type in time for the Doctors to give him a blood transfusion. As he was dying he kept saying βbe positiveβ but itβs really hard with out him.
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︎ Mar 13 2019
When someone commits suicide via jumping they literally jump to a conclusion.
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︎ Mar 16 2018
I told /u/porichoygupto's Dad joke to my wife and kids via text, my wife's response was perfect. (Link to album in the text box.)
I'm getting some good mileage out of this joke. Thanks /u/porichoygupto !!!
First. Second.
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︎ May 05 2018
Hit my wife with this exchange via text
Ordering pizza.
Me: I got pizza for us
Her: oh what kind?
Me: buffalo chicken
Her: omg i was just thinking about that!
Me: you could say we are like lance bass and justin timberlake
Her: ?
Me: we're nsync
Her: .....omg
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︎ Jan 27 2018
Do You know what they call alternative medicine that has been proven to work via research, experimentation, and double-blind clinical trials?
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︎ Nov 24 2017
What do you call a girl who breaks up with you via IG?
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︎ Oct 04 2018
Dad and I just had an exchange via text message
http://i.imgur.com/kfJW6La.png
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︎ Aug 15 2015
Conversation with my Dad via text message
- Me: I'm picking up pizza, are you hungry?
- Dad: No, I'm Dad.
- Me: You're hilarious
- Dad: Wrong again Matthew, I'm Dad!
- I Walked right into it
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︎ Apr 12 2014
My nephew is having his undescended testicle repaired today via surgery my dad says this...
"They are going to go in through the belly button with a pool cue and try to hit the ball back into the pocket" - such a dad joke, but we both died laughing.
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︎ Jul 18 2017
When Donald Trump's doctor replied to him via email about a suspicious mark on his back, what did the subject line say?
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︎ Sep 17 2017
Dad work cell joke (x-post via /r/punny)
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︎ Apr 01 2014
Via text
Daughter : Dad, I think the dog had an accident in the living room.
Dad: I already took care of it
Daughter : cool
Dad: no, it was still warm.
Daughter : Dad, stop.
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︎ May 17 2017
Dad-joked an unknown boss at work today via chat
> Me: Do you know anything about student loans?
> Boss: A little, why?
> Me: Just looking into things, wondering a bit how they work.
> Boss: Well you have to pay them back.
> Me: Interest-ing
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︎ Jul 03 2015
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︎ Mar 24 2014
Out dad'd by my dad.(true story via cellphone)
- Me: Hello sir
- Dad: Howdy - in the bathroom at the moment.
- Me:Well hope everything comes out okay
- Dad: Paperwork completed.
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︎ Nov 08 2015
I sent a photo via text to my Dad.
In the photo, was my toddler twins in their "big kid" stroller for the first time, and I told him so. My father responded "where are you going to get the goat to pull it?"
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︎ Aug 12 2016
Got a friend via twitter
Posted a picture from a wine and cheese party:
Her: jelly~
Me: No, it's just cheese and other spreads.
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︎ Dec 18 2014
via text: "I just saw a famous rapper at the Getty Villas"
and then he sent this picture
http://imgur.com/TWSP0yt
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︎ Sep 09 2014
Dad got my sister's boyfriend via Skype.
So my parents were Skyping my sister (who moved many hours away) and her new boyfriend (whom they've never met) and my dad was wearing a hardhat on screen.
Boyfriend: "Why are you wearing a hard hat?"
Dad: "Because we're building a relationship!"
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︎ Aug 22 2014
Via my 3 year old this morning. I'm just so proud
"Alright sweetheart, Daddy's going to jump in the shower."
"Ok Daddy, make sure you jump really high!"
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︎ Oct 07 2014
My dad wishing my cousin Happy Birthday via Facebook
Happy Birthday from Columbus. Cathy (my mom) made you cookies. I ate them for you. Think of it as a slimming birthday present from your waist line to my belly! Your welcome! Happy 21st.
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︎ Nov 14 2013
(Via text) she told me to keep her posted
but i gave her postit instead.
http://i.imgur.com/dj8JfuL.jpg
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︎ Feb 12 2015
Dadjoked my mate via facebook
Him: did you hear about that story about the kids being suspended from school from snorting sweets?
Me: No but this ones worse did you hear about the kids who snorted curry powder?
Him: No
Me: well the police found them and one of the kids had to be taken to hospital because he was found in a korma
I got no response
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︎ Nov 15 2014
I got dad joked via text
My dad texted me asking if I wanted to meet him at Taco Bell. I responded by saying all my socks are in the wash.
He responded with "Well that socks hahaha."
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︎ Jul 11 2014
My dad finally found he can send jokes via text message. Someone kill me now.
My pop just dropped this one via text message:
I used Red Bull instead of water to make my coffee this morning... Got half way to work before I realized I forgot my car.
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︎ Dec 24 2013
Dadjoked my friend via text.
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︎ Sep 09 2014
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