Validness Puns

as a windows replacement installer

He took one look and said, "You could've been a bit straighter."

Ended up having a crippling vowel movement.

Am I right?

Because 6, 7, 8.

Just had my first child earlier this week and so grateful for this sub. I've been using it for weeks to get ready for the big show. Keep the jokes coming, I need to up my game now that I'm in the majors with you other dads!!!

Aren't all countries third world countries?

They hit their heads at the edge.

A brick.

We're at the car rental place and they tell us it's going to be an hour long wait because they are short handed on people to wash the cars.

My dad says, "Why would you hire people with short hands to wash cars?"

There must have been a dozen or more crows gathered around a piece of pizza on the ground.

Discus.

Because unlike the circle, the cone actually has a valid point.

Nein.

Me: 0Mg

He still lies.

(Submitted for y’all’s approval from an 8 year old)

Guy was like, "Left side parallel, way to go."

It chew chews it!?

Credit: My 3 year old, who validated the joke through my 6 year old.

I work in logistics and occasionally get great excuses for why truckers are late to deliver. Today a guy called in an explained he hit an alligator and blew out some tires. My buddy's response: "Sounds like he had a rare run in with the You'll Be Later Alligator. Unless it was actually an It'll Be Awhile Crocodile."

Because I want validation.

They're all valid trans actions

I chose "new" but they're all reposts... should be "knew" instead

They don’t like to work for peanuts.

"I like your new Jeep, but it's broken." I look at him confused. "It's in the parking lot pointing west. Shouldn't Compasses always point north?"

The Crimea River

Me: What time are you going to be home tonight?

Wife: Ten-ish.

Me: Okay. And what sport does Sean Connery like to play at the country club?

Wife: Ugh.

I really need the validation.

So for background, I work at McDonald's. I have to scan every Euro Bill 50 € and up.

So one day a dad comes in with his two little daughters. He places his order and hands me a 50 € bill. I scan it and scan it again and the machine won't recognize its validity, when the dad says:'That's odd, I JUST changed my printer's toner' Daughters facepalm other dads in line nod

I told them it was called hop moskido.

This actually happened. Nobody laughed and no one I've told it to since has laughed. I think it's really funny and I need some validation. Help

Well to be perfectly honest, in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who thinks differently from my point of view, but also by looking into this matter in a different perspective and without being condemning of one's view's and by trying to make it objectified, and by considering each and every one's valid opinion, I honestly believe that I completely forgot what I was going to say.

Am I right?

Am I right ?

Am I right?