A hug and a quiche!
It's the little things that count.
"Without you I'd be muffin."
I'm pretty proud.
I'm pining for you
Cauliflower!
(told by my nephew, so so proud of him!)
A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer. He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine's day cards, write inside them and stamp them with "Love" stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope. The bartender finally can't contain his curiosity and approaches the man. "You must have 500 or more cards there," the bartender says. "I've got to admit I'm curious what you're doing." "Oh, every year at Valentine's Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed 'Guess Who?'" the guy says. "But why?" the bartender asks. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the guy replies.
The jug of milk in our refrigerator dated 2-14.
I've got her some plain, wholemeal and self-raising.
Grimm.
February 14th.
It's the little things that count.
I told her I wasn't planning on spending that much.
A sprinkler system and it irrigated her
she told me "give it away, give it away, give it away NOW" !
I told my wife to just leave it though since the freezer has an auto defrost feature
But you wont get it.
You're purr-fect for me!
They're very scentimental
Told them to have a rootin' tootin' Valentine's day.
me: well no, its got nitrogen, oxygen and a spot of COVID
We were there for about 20 minutes before my wife even potted a red.
She stayed down a lot longer than they do in the WWE
And he reached my voicemail
I'm thinking Feb 14th
Don't understand why, she'd always told me it's little things that count?
Lol, on last year's Valentine's day my best friend had got mad at me for not asking my crush out.
We'd planned on going to McDonald's together because he didn't have a date either. When I arrived at McDonald's this f*cker was holding a cardboard box with a terrified look and when he saw me he immediately gave me the box and told me he'd already bought the food and that we better take the bus to my place. I just thought he probably was joking or something because the box didn't even have any kind of decoration, it even had a chips brand printed on it, but as we got to the bus and sat I felt something moving inside, I thought maybe it was a puppy or something, but why did he look scared of it?
So, we get to my house, I go to my backyard, where my then 7yo beagle was and I open the box. I could only see a black blur flying out of it and then heard my best friend scream. It was a rooster. He's terrified of birds. And weirdest of all it was a fully grown rooster but he was super tiny, like 10 inches tall tiny.
I asked him wtf was going on and he just kinda hid behind the backyard door and said "I bought it so that you could get some cock tonight". I always make puns and he hates them, I was speechless. So long story short I now own 6 chickens and 4 roosters (my mom got super mad at him for buying the rooster, but then she got super attached and bought him a chicken, when she laid eggs she let them hatch, the rooster's name is Enrique btw, my mom even made him a birthday party and all last week, lol)
I know my wife loves a boo-K.
I spent Valentine's Day eating my meat.
A hug and a quiche.
A hug and a quiche!
It’s the little things that count.
It’s the little things that count.
