A list of puns related to "Utilities"
Supplies!
Now it's just a waist of space.
He's right. His new job is an existential test for him daily
I replied back: βSure, my door is always open.β
The Pitcher
Attention - due to the current health situation, I am hereby suspending all TCP communication. I will only utilize UDP in order to avoid all handshakes.
... but was fired for taking a couple of days off!
Not unknown, but a fave. I also wanted to say I became a certified dad today! I plan on utilizing this sub to torture my new child.
So when there's trouble and I'm running away they'll shout - "Isn't that Ironic!?"
They are both fairly dumb compared to the ultimately attainable intelligence of a biological organism given the use of cognitive enhancement utilizing vast computational resources.
(Yea thatβs the joke, this is my first day on the job and Iβm trying to impress the boss.) what am I saying
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
No. Let's leave the house warming to the utilities.
I am on the city council and we had a workshop about why utility rates are lower inside the city compared to outside.
It came down to this:
Prefacing that I was a dad so I had to say it: I suggested the rational wasn't the most sound since "just because every other city jumped off a bridge, it didn't mean I wasn't going to jump off a bridge."
Mixture of groans and laughter.
Me: (approaching Dad) Hey! Dad: Hay is for horses.
Every. Single. Time.
Apparently I need to utilize a new greeting..
I was cooking some broiled salmon with dill (key word here), capers and lemon. She REALLY wanted to use the Henckels 8" utility knife to cut up some celery and carrots for some soup while I was stripping the dill for the salmon. After she asked for the knife (we have plenty, but this has the best edge), I said, "What is your DILLS?! Just use another knife!" I had to repeat it two times before she got it and let out a she let out a huge groan while I got a good chuckle to myself. ^I'll^show^myself^out
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