What do you call the people who disciplines others who use puns?
What do you call a serial killer who frequently uses puns?
Why do dad jokes often use puns?
Uses Pun, It's Super Effective
Me: Let me see your fan.
Friend: *shows me fan*
Me: I'm much bigger than that. Some might even say your biggest...
Friend: I need you to leave.
Never try to prove a point using puns.
You are committing the logical fallacy of argument ad homonym.
I'm writing a story about a minotaur who uses puns.
He cows his enemies with bad jokes.
[Request] Need puntastic suggestions related to flail!
Hi punterific people!
I'm a YouTuber that loves puns and use puns regularly in my videos when I play games. I'm having some new graphics donr for my channel and I want to change my 'saying' to reflect the punny part of... Well.. Me :)
The new art depicts my avatar (Game kNight) weilding a shield and a flail - and I want the saying to reflect something in that regard. I persistently play games to win (as if anyone did otherwise) and don't like failing (like most other gamers?);
Thoughts up until now:
Flailure is not an option - for me! (but for the enemies I face is implied)
Flailing is an option (because facing me will get you flailed)
I will not flail you!
Hope you can help me out!
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
Went to GameStop to use the bathroom, but it was out of order...
I guess I have to keep holding it.
I don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals.
I used to eat watches and clocks for every meal, but I had to stop.
It was too time consuming.
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
Son: "Dad, what are condoms used for ?"
Dad: "To avoid such questions."
I was taught to never use the Oxford comma
by Mrs. Henderson, my high school English teacher and a first-rate whore.
I had a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tires and roll me down hills
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
Edit: Thanks for all the positive reactions to this joke. I’m glad I could make a few of you chuckle today.
Did you know I used to be a Lumber Jack? It was only during one summer, though.
I just couldn't, hack it.
Because I didn't have the, chops.
So they, gave me the axe.
Why is “beefstew” an unsafe password to use?
Because it’s not Stroganoff.
Why did NASA use numbers instead of letters for the Apollo series?
Because if Apollo-F crashed, they’d have to make an Apollo-G.
I've been using my new U2 navigation system this week and it's the worst...
The streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for!
been a moment since i used the tea-rex meme template
Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.
There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
Why can't athiests use exponents?
Because they don't believe in a higher power.
What should you use with Batman shampoo?
I used to be scared of speed bumps.
I’m slowly getting over it
A man has been found guilty of using too many commas.
The judge told him to expect a long sentence.
What did the vegetarian use to fix his flat tire?
My personal trainer was upset at me because I kept using the same machine at the gym
It was the vending machine
My son asked me, “Dad, what are condoms used for?”
I said, “Usually to avoid answering questions like this one.”
Now days, people don't use the name Lance very often
In medieval times, people were named Lance a lot
When I first started learning how to drive, I used to be afraid of speed bumps.
But slowly, I got over it.
What do you use to cut a Roman Emperor’s hair?
I misplaced my pizza cutter, so I used my Bryan Adams CD.
I used to work at a calendar factory
But they fired me for taking a couple of days off
I've just finished writing a book about using stairs...
It's a step by step guide.
I used to hate facial hair...
I used to...
lay in my twin bed and wonder where my brother was.
I use a lot of the jokes from here, but I always tell folks where I got them.
Just giving cReddit where it's due.
Do you know what 50 Cent used to do every time he got hungry
What's everyone been using to scrape ice off their cars? I have been using a discount card.
Only been getting 25% off.
I used to date three coconuts but had to break up with them
They were a little shy for my liking
My dad used to annoy me with bird puns.
But now I realize toucan play that game.
Pre- means before. Post- means after. To use both prefixes together,
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