Only works when spoken instead of typed out
πŸ‘︎ 823
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mathucub
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
So I typed in my new password β€˜Chicken’

Was not allowed and it must contain a capital.

β€˜chickenkiev’

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rserdad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Tolkien typed the entire Lord Of The Rings using only two fingers

That must have been Mordor

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Got sick and typed my symptoms into WebMD

Was told I may have connectivity issues

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/instig8or-az
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Today my son typed "Can I have a book mark?"

I burst into tears. "Billy, please stop reposting the same joke for karma, everyone will hate you."

"Then give me the damn bookmark."

I gave him the bookmark.

He finally won.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperJewsauce
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is "Dark" typed with "k" and not "c"?

Because you can't "see" in the dark

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/3bdilra7man
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I just typed up a strongly worded complaint using paragraph formatting tools ...

It was entirely justified!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD.

They are telling me I have Gary Busey.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I typed words backwards for a living once.

Now I typed words backwards for a living twice.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
🚨︎ report
[REQUEST] I need help with a project for school, we are making a party typed game show and need to come up with a name for it.

We want his name to be a part of it, his name is baumwirst. We came up with the baumwirst bash but we think there's something better. Any help?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hippieboy699
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2017
🚨︎ report
There are 10 types of people in the world:

Those who know binary and those who don't.

πŸ‘︎ 191
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fuzed_Canadian
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
🚨︎ report
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.

However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.

πŸ‘︎ 338
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

Haaand eeeeeeeeeeeeeye.

πŸ‘︎ 132
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tzulik-
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of fish tastes great with custard?

A jellyfish

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
A pastor, a priest, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank, and the nurse asks what blood type they are.

The rabbit says, β€œI’m probably a Type-O”

πŸ‘︎ 622
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rmath12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of fish only comes out at night?

A starfish

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
There are only 3 types of people..
  1. People who can count
  2. People who can’t
πŸ‘︎ 203
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baby-Penewine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of undies do elephants prefer?

Trunks

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife and I were really happy for 20 years ...

Then we met

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/corefear
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of sandwich did the philosopher get

A Philly-osophy

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lemonade_Cherry
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What's a frog's favourite type of mechanical fastener?

A rivet

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ro330
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
A priest, A Baptist minister, and a rabbit go into a red cross to donate blood. The nurse asks "What is your blood type"?

The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"

πŸ‘︎ 310
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMeeme
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of coffee, does a zombie hate?

A Decap-puccino

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abvazir
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of poo smells good?

Shampoo

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Breachx4002
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of music do cool rabbits listen to?

Hip Hop

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of insect can't stop vomiting?

A sickada

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?

The cash-ew

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samscostco
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine thinks he's an expert on tree types.

He refers to himself as a conifer

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RodimusMajor84
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
There’s a city where all the people have the same blood type

The capital of Taiwan. They’re all Taipai.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAverageSJW
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of fruit can’t run away and get married?

A Cantaloupe

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FadedFigure
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Starting next week, I'm going to dress as a different type of bread every day.

Roll on Monday!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BellaLugosisChips
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the best type of music to listen to on Christmas eve?

Wrap music.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the Italian dad say when his family asked him what type of eel he caught on vacation.

That's a moray.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I've often found that dad jokes are best enjoyed with my favorite type of tea:

Levity.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrevorMagichair
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
originally posted on r/tumblr by u/MaetelofLaMetal
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
A brand new type of tea!

There's a new type of tea that changes colour, plays 8-bit tunes and even makes the whole room you're in fill the air with its contents.

It's called hue-midi-tea.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joshifi3d
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of doctor is always ready to go to the hospital?

An β€œon-col”ogist

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jblackhawk7
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of music are balloons scared of?

Pop

πŸ‘︎ 235
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πŸ‘€︎ u/st_jimmy_02
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What's Mario and Luigi's favourite type of overalls?

Denim denim denim.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chester_abellera
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s an avocados favorite type of music?

Guac and mole!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
It takes guts to be an organ donor

For real tho. Donate your organs. It saved my dads life 😁

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/katyparody
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type

As he died, he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.

πŸ‘︎ 20k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the biggest type of bed ?

The sea bed.

(Courtesy of my 6 year old.)

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What is Mario's favorite type of fabric?

Denim, denim, denim.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of car does Vlad Dracula drive?

A Chevy Impaler.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ezra611
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the heaviest type of tea?

Densi-tea

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Whats hitler's least favourite type of drink

Jews

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/siddharth_pillai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of bomb is found at the bottom of the ocean?

Sea-Floor

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stupidman44
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of haircut does Steven Spielberg get?

The director's cut.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ExUltra02
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

HHHHAAANNNDDDDDD EEEYYYYEEEE

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/depressed_popoto
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
🚨︎ report
There are 10 types of people:

Those who know binary and those who don't

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What is Whitney Houston's favourite type of coordination?

HAAAND EYEEEEEEEE!

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of fruit Must get married in a Church?

A Cantaloupe

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Altar-83
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
There are 3 types of people in this world:

Those who can count and those who cannot.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fuzed_Canadian
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison.

Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.

However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SnakehoundXE
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report

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