Only works when spoken instead of typed out
π︎ 823
π
︎ Apr 22 2021
So I typed in my new password βChickenβ
Was not allowed and it must contain a capital.
βchickenkievβ
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
Tolkien typed the entire Lord Of The Rings using only two fingers
That must have been Mordor
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
Got sick and typed my symptoms into WebMD
Was told I may have connectivity issues
π︎ 4
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︎ May 17 2020
Today my son typed "Can I have a book mark?"
I burst into tears. "Billy, please stop reposting the same joke for karma, everyone will hate you."
"Then give me the damn bookmark."
I gave him the bookmark.
He finally won.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 17 2020
Why is "Dark" typed with "k" and not "c"?
Because you can't "see" in the dark
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 02 2019
I just typed up a strongly worded complaint using paragraph formatting tools ...
It was entirely justified!
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 31 2019
I accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD.
They are telling me I have Gary Busey.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 18 2018
I typed words backwards for a living once.
Now I typed words backwards for a living twice.
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 19 2018
[REQUEST] I need help with a project for school, we are making a party typed game show and need to come up with a name for it.
We want his name to be a part of it, his name is baumwirst. We came up with the baumwirst bash but we think there's something better. Any help?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 03 2017
There are 10 types of people in the world:
Those who know binary and those who don't.
π︎ 191
π
︎ May 27 2021
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
π︎ 338
π
︎ May 12 2021
What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?
π︎ 132
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︎ May 19 2021
What type of fish tastes great with custard?
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 26 2021
A pastor, a priest, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank, and the nurse asks what blood type they are.
The rabbit says, βIβm probably a Type-Oβ
π︎ 622
π
︎ Apr 16 2021
What type of fish only comes out at night?
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 21 2021
There are only 3 types of people..
- People who can count
- People who canβt
π︎ 203
π
︎ Apr 05 2021
What type of undies do elephants prefer?
π︎ 41
π
︎ May 20 2021
My wife and I were really happy for 20 years ...
π︎ 9k
π
︎ May 28 2021
What type of sandwich did the philosopher get
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 29 2021
What's a frog's favourite type of mechanical fastener?
π︎ 26
π
︎ May 10 2021
A priest, A Baptist minister, and a rabbit go into a red cross to donate blood. The nurse asks "What is your blood type"?
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"
π︎ 310
π
︎ Mar 06 2021
What type of coffee, does a zombie hate?
π︎ 15
π
︎ May 23 2021
What type of poo smells good?
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 11 2021
What type of music do cool rabbits listen to?
π︎ 18
π
︎ May 20 2021
What type of insect can't stop vomiting?
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 26 2021
Whatβs the most disgusting type of nut?
π︎ 63
π
︎ Apr 08 2021
A friend of mine thinks he's an expert on tree types.
He refers to himself as a conifer
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 11 2021
Thereβs a city where all the people have the same blood type
The capital of Taiwan. Theyβre all Taipai.
π︎ 18
π
︎ May 17 2021
What type of fruit canβt run away and get married?
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 22 2021
Starting next week, I'm going to dress as a different type of bread every day.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 23 2021
What is the best type of music to listen to on Christmas eve?
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 21 2021
What did the Italian dad say when his family asked him what type of eel he caught on vacation.
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 14 2021
I've often found that dad jokes are best enjoyed with my favorite type of tea:
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 18 2021
originally posted on r/tumblr by u/MaetelofLaMetal
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
A brand new type of tea!
There's a new type of tea that changes colour, plays 8-bit tunes and even makes the whole room you're in fill the air with its contents.
It's called hue-midi-tea.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 04 2021
What type of doctor is always ready to go to the hospital?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 19 2021
What type of music are balloons scared of?
π︎ 235
π
︎ Feb 23 2021
What's Mario and Luigi's favourite type of overalls?
π︎ 15
π
︎ May 05 2021
Whatβs an avocados favorite type of music?
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 18 2021
It takes guts to be an organ donor
For real tho. Donate your organs. It saved my dads life π
π︎ 2k
π
︎ May 15 2021
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type
As he died, he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.
π︎ 20k
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
What is the biggest type of bed ?
The sea bed.
(Courtesy of my 6 year old.)
π︎ 60
π
︎ Mar 26 2021
What is Mario's favorite type of fabric?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 09 2021
What type of car does Vlad Dracula drive?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 20 2021
What's the heaviest type of tea?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 07 2021
Whats hitler's least favourite type of drink
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
What type of bomb is found at the bottom of the ocean?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 27 2021
What type of haircut does Steven Spielberg get?
π︎ 58
π
︎ Mar 09 2021
What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?
HHHHAAANNNDDDDDD EEEYYYYEEEE
π︎ 22
π
︎ May 28 2021
There are 10 types of people:
Those who know binary and those who don't
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 28 2021
What is Whitney Houston's favourite type of coordination?
π︎ 37
π
︎ Apr 23 2021
What type of fruit Must get married in a Church?
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 11 2021
There are 3 types of people in this world:
Those who can count and those who cannot.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 14 2021
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison.
Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
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