My dad lost his leg to cancer earlier this year. Today he tweeted this:

http://imgur.com/NkCtk6M

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wompum
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2017
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Elon San tweeted this
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πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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I still can't believe he tweeted this to his millions of followers.

http://imgur.com/a/wPzCC

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BakersTuts
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
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friend tweeted this the other day

me: dad the squirrels in new york city literally do not give a shit they follow me sometimes

dad: its probably because you're a nut

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frederickdiggory
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2014
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My sister tweeted this a while back. I think we can all agree.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elindseyfan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2013
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Neil deGrasse Tyson just tweeted a Dad joke!

https://twitter.com/neiltyson/statuses/429325051679084544

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xpensivewino
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2014
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I just wanted to show people one of my favorite tweets by SMII7Y (If this is a repost I am sorry)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2worldSins
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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Pin this tweet.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimonCaine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Haha tweets go bomb...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Satwik_Pandey
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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One of my own tweets. (follow me @tidytuanzebe)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ekbfut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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Sitting around watching the birds crowd around the bird feeder,

My brother says, "Someone must have left a good Yelp review." I said, "Yeah, somebody tweeted about it."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Nice to tweet you
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkOnSocks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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Well I mean I would be mad...
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxDr-Beckyxx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.

wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SocialPerformer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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Donald Trump posts his tweets in all-caps.

Guess you could call him a capitalist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swanky_swanker
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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I’m at my school talent show and this guy said...

β€œbefore I start, I would like to check if my mic is working..” β€œif your name is Michael, please stand up”

then a couple of guys stand up and he goes

β€œthat concludes my mike check”

(I saw this tweet and just had to share it!) Click here for credit

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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What did the bird do when it found a spider?

It tweeted out the location of the website.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LunaFox45
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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Used to wake up to birds chirping, but I woke up to this Elon Musk tweet this morning
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FabuPineapple
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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Nice to *tweet* you...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roboragemachine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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My bird nosedived straight into a running blender this morning...

All that’s left is shredded tweet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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This tweet was sitting in his drafts for at least a week
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paolucci_Talks
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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Quick moment to appreciate the tweet title.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/merelymyself
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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[ACTUAL QUOTE] A$AP Rocky was released from Swedish prison today. Donald Trump's tweet in response to his release:

"A$AP Rocky released from prison and on his way home to the United States from Sweden. It was a Rocky Week, get home ASAP A$AP!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gentlesir123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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How does Melania call Donald to supper?

β€œDonald, come tweet!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stooftheoof
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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Hey min!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vapid1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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How do you let birds know when you've refilled the bird feeder?

Send a tweet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bondjimbond
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.

Well, toucan play that game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpiceCake68
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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I think Alan Tudyk's latest tweet belongs here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joefoe55
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2013
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What do birds give out on Halloween?

Tweets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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Bird feeder is empty.

Anticipating nasty tweets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evilgenius1917
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Why can't you tweet about Game of Thrones?

Because it has more than 140 characters.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dontthrowmeinabox
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2016
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[No Pun] My friends and I have been tweeting a pun name every day for months, we think some are great

We've been tweeting them out from @DailyPunName... let me know if you have any feedback or some favorites.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DailyPunName
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2015
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So I saw this tweet, and the image below was all I could think about... imgur.com/wKAwf
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skeyeline_215
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2012
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Dog goes woof, cat goes meow bird goes tweet and mouse goes squeek, but... youtube.com/watch?v=EzL5c…
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2013
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As a guy from Ohio, I love sports.

That's why whenever I tweet about my team, i go "hash browns."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnnyZillion
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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Math

Someone once tweeted that she was "nonplussed" by the goings-on at a convention.

I asked if she was going to subtract herself from the event.

She didn't laugh. I did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thelupinefiasco
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
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Dog goes woof, cat goes meow bird goes tweet and mouse goes squeek, but... youtube.com/watch?v=EzL5c…
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2013
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Why do birds hang out on telephone lines?

So they can tweet.

(I hit my family with this one today. Its probably been done before but it was so satisfying hearing everyone groan.)

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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While feeding some ducks with kids, more ducks turn up.

Me "there's loads coming, they must have sent a telegraph"

Dad friend "there birds, they tweeted it"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradaz1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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What is candy for birds called?

A sweet tweet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a8b3y
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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How do birds communicate?

They Tweet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wal_Target
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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How do birds communicate?

They Tweet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wal_Target
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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What do birds give out for Halloween?

Tweets

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shrin25
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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What do birds give out on Halloween?

Tweets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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