I thought, “Well he's pushing his luck!”
I was between The Rock and a hard Plaice
But I didn't have anything to put it in.
Pull MyCartney
The tour guide was telling us about the Boston molasses disaster, or as he called it…the Boston molassacre!
“I couldn’t get them, there wasn’t ‘mush room’ in the trolley. “
She threw things at me
We were at an exhibition, and there was an Army Ambulance with a practice dummy on a trolley hanging out the back. He turned to me and said
.
.
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Look, Plastic Surgery!
I put this in the wrong sub reddit so I've reposted this to dad jokes
Hello reddit
I'm looking for quick easy and simple dad jokes I can say to strangers and make them laugh and then keep pushing trolleys.
I'm a trolley pusher and when I'm at work saying "Gday mate how are you" is getting bland I try and get the random customers to say "I'm all right" which then I respond "your not all right you also half left" it tends to make people smile and laugh.
Are there any there any other fun and simple to engage dad jokes out there?
I was cruising through the meat section and a nearby married couple were checking out some lamb shoulders that were on special. The mum picks up a roast, inspects it and deposits it in their trolley where she then notices the package had leaked a bit.
"Oh!" She says. "I've got a bloody hand!"
"You've always had two bloody hands," jokes the dad.
We use these red sliding sheets to help transfer patients from the operating table to their trolley (they're widely used in hospitals and care environments for various patient manual handling tasks). For those who are unfamiliar, it's basically a double layered, frictionless sheet you position under the patient in order (theoretically) to transfer them with minimal force and effort.
One particular colleague hates them, and today ranted:
"I would love to punch the guy who invented these and has probably made millions of pounds and retired"
To which someone immediately responded:
"I bet he's a right slippery character though".
Went out for an anniversary dinner with the wife and kids to the Old Spaghetti Factory. If you're not familiar, their mascot is a trolley car and most restaurants have one right in the middle.
We got seated at a table in the trolley, and service was great... At first. And then it became apparent that our server had given up on any sort of tip. So, at the end of the meal...
Wife: "We shouldn't tip her very well. Our service was terrible at the end."
Me: "Yeah, it really went off the rails."
Wife: eyeroll
