Every play has an offensive line
So now I won't be bringing that up any more
... I never knew my real ladder.
It was the least I could do for him
She says it’s my crow aggression.
Because sin90 = cot45
They only do their jobs after they are fired
His-Panic.
Please help. I am tired but I can't fall asleep. I need the ultimate answer.
Post all bomb puns here, whether they be good or bad.
Edit: Wow. This blew up.
https://preview.redd.it/m3liaqm82wd21.png?width=1943&format=png&auto=webp&s=73addd8f55b7761903fe25477b2de256c26b606a
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
Either or, I'm bambidextrous.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
Because he didn't have the guts.
They were triggered.
Because it went viral.
Where it’s just gonna be a bunch of dads clicking tongues and pulling power tool triggers
So it's been almost 3 weeks since a lockdown was triggered in the UK and there have been quite a few knock on effects.. Some good and some bad which I want to share in this post.
Firstly one of my friends lost his job. He worked as a psychic.. Never saw it coming. Its been a difficult couple of weeks and he is now considering a complete career change...considering becoming a baker of all things.. But I suppose he really kneads the dough. I suggested he focus on photography, but nothing ever developed.
Another of my friends was also made redundant. He managed to get a Skype interview for a position in Tescos within a few days. The interviewer asked him: "what is your biggest weakness?", he replied "I don't know when to quit". The interviewer said "OK, your hired". He said "I quit".
Work has been busy for me but since I can't enjoy the things I usually do I have been looking for some new things to do around the house. It's been nice have the thyme to do more cooking. I randomly started a boat building business in my garage.. Sails have gone through the roof.
In an unsettling reversal of my teenage years I am now shouting at my parents for leaving the house. I suggested they take up scrabble to keep them occupied.. Turned out to be a bad idea from the word go.
It's been great hearing about how world pollution levels have been failling. I read the story about fish now being visible in the canals in Venice.. I hope that story isnt a load of pollocks! Cod, these were eely bad. Will stop carping on now!
It was two triggered.
I said, “I know, they came out of the closet this morning”
Then I was born.
Because you’ll get Jurass kicked..
That must mean it's heredditary.
People get triggered
Turtle leanie
Because they are cross hares.
I asked my nephew how old his dad was and he replied "six". I said how can he only be six if you're six?
He said "because he's only been a dad since I was born"
http://imgur.com/OdIv0uU
but I don't really mind as the 24th of July is ages away
I'm easily triggered.
