This is not just a repost, but a transcription of a repost of a series of posts that no longer exist and were written by a redditor that is banned. I recently remembered this story and it's just too good not to share, so I dug up the details.
The posts are all imaged based, so I've transcribed the posts so as to not deal with uploading photos (yes, my laziness is such that typing things out is easier than figuring out how to get photos uploaded in order).
This was originally written by u/omegaweapon (aka Abs) on r/ChoosingBeggars. It (and other stories) are now available on the OOP's website: https://www.taint.net.au. He retells some of his stories on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF0-fkWZUuRJS-ZNg_UpaUA
Amber the 10% Chick Part 1
Backstory: Abs has given 3 arcade machines to a charity. This charity is a youth hostel/outreach program and they have a lot of people coming and going. The charity had heard that they can make a lot of money from arcade machines, but their budget is very, very tight. Abs gave them the 3 machines with no down payment and makes a deal with them: Abs will take 10% of the money the machines makes and put that 10% towards the cost of the arcade machines. When that tallies up to the cost of the machines, they will be considered paid for, free and clear. This all worked fine until Amber took over.
https://www.taint.net.au/post/amber-the-10-chick-part-1
Amber: Hi there, I've replaced Nicole at <Charity> and I can't find the keys to the lock on the change drawer for any of our machines.
Abs: Hi Amber, the keys are with me, as my guys are the ones who empty the change and tally it every fortnight.
Amber: Hi Abs? is it? I don't know why you would have the keys when they're our units. I'll need them back please. We should be the only ones with the keys.
Abs: I have the keys because the units were given to you free on the proviso that I get 10% of the takings until they're paid off.
Amber: No, we purchased them therefore we should have the keys. Surely there was a payment plan attached when this was negotiated.
Abs: That is the payment plan. Since the funds weren't available at that time, I decided to give them to your organisation anyways and take a small percentage each fortnight until they were paid in full. Then the keys are all your
... keep reading on reddit ➡I had a Commodore C16+4 when I was a little kid (Maybe 6) - a Christmas present for me and my older brother - came with Treasure Island, Fire Ant etc
Then we got a C64 - was the Terminator 2 cartridge pack box set - had that for a few years..
Then I finally got the Amiga, I'd wanted for years, and OMG - what an upgrade from the C64!
My parents weren't keen on buying me one for Christmas/Birthday, so I had to save up for one myself, at about age 13. I couldn't afford any games when I bought it, so had to content myself with playing with Workbench for a couple of weeks, then I finally treated myself to Amiga Power magazine and slapped in the playable demo....
First game was Arabian Nights - wow! the graphics and music were incredible!
I played that Amiga loads, and remember buying (and loving) Syndicate, Speedball 2, Body Blows, Hunter, Tank Command, Blam Machinehead, Desert Strike and Cannon Fodder, as well as many others I'm sure.
I used to cut order forms off the back of the Amiga Power magazines to buy games mail order, and my mum would write a cheque to pay for them (I'd pay her back). The games would take about 3 weeks to arrive, but were half price mail order, and so much excitement when the mailman finally delivered - a proper box and an instruction manual!
It was sad seeing the Amiga slowly losing the battle to the consoles - the games were much more interesting on the Amiga in my opnion, but the graphics and loading times were struggling to compete with the SNES and the Megadrive.
It was also a shame to see the decline of Games magazines, and magazines in general.
Anyway, I hit about 16, and life was taking me in different directions, so I sold the Amiga, and all the games. Wish I'd kept them now...
Anyway, for anyone still following, thanks for listening to a middle age guy thinking about his childhood over a beer.
Peace to all.
We recently held our elections for our local executive. The previous members were all replaced by new ones.
The president and the secretary are trying to get access to the financial information, bank statements, cheques, etc. The previous treasurer is refusing to sign the paper transferring 'ownership?' of the account.
The national rep has completely excused himself from the situation and told the local to figure it out. All attempts to contact higher up have been met with 'contact your national rep'.
We have NO IDEA how to even proceed with this. Any suggestions or insights?
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”
“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.
The doctor says it terminal.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.
Gender is fluid.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Amy
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Calcium, nickel, neon
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
