... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
I guess it just runs in the jeans
It’s a bit of a running joke in the family
Cause it would die out quickly
It's our hey-ride.
Q: Where's the best place to get a Christmas goose?
A: Under the mistletoe.
http://imgur.com/a/1qKYz
So we don't burn our faces when we eat it.
But I can only speculate because he was an absent-tea father.
Martial arts is as much spiritual training as it is physical training. In fact, there is a school of martial arts in Korea where practitioners would spend large portions of the day just meditating.
As they train their spirits to ponder over their place in the universe, the practitioners would also train their bodies to forgo the needs of the physical world. The practitioners would endure days on end without sleep, and live on a single loaf of bread for an entire month.
As they meditate, they would repeat the mantra: “I am one with the universe, it sleeps not so I shall not sleep. This bread is my only worldly attachment but I shall only TAKE ONE DOUGH”
Trump Jr and Eric were mighty relieved.
No really, it's a big dill.
I am so independent.
I bought a bottle of whiskey for our pastor and when my son saw it he said, "straight rye whiskey ... the true spirit of Christmas."
He's going to make a great dad someday.
Me: "Is Phil Hartman the one who was killed by his wife?"
Mom: "Yup."
Dad: "Shot him right in the heart, man."
Mom (genuinely): "Did she really?"
my sister, dad, and I just started cracking up.
You know..Turkey.. stuffing... Cranberries..and Masked Potatoes.
Can anyone recommend a good bog about cranberries?
He picked up the hammer and saw.
(my dad told this all the time. I am continuing on with the tradition...)
Cashed in their Kreddit!
I call it my trail mix.
A particular family in LA has been abstaining from using one letter of the alphabet for Lent each year, since 2001. It started as a joke, giving up "A" in 2001 and "B" in 2002, but developed into a strong family tradition.
This year, one of the members has a tough choice to make. Unlike the rest of the Astleys, Rick made a solemn vow...
I for 1, love Roman numerals.
Because men can't breastfeed.
Because it Cantaloupe.
Cattlecattle
Sorry, may not be a dad joke, my wife actually laughed.
What's wobbly in the sky A jellycopter
Not the best execution, but I'm happy he's joining the tradition of bad jokes
Kimono she didn’t!
...I'm gonna call it 'Rage Against The Tajine'
- Like all cherished things in this covid-crazy world, the O.Henry Museum’s famous free, family friendly celebration of the wit-in-word will take place virtually in cyberspace this year. With an awesome live cast of lively wits and tortured tongues, the online audience will be treated to all the linguistic twists, dramatic turns, and surprise endings they’ve groan to love. Expect to witness wacky word butchers and voracious verbivores from around the globe, all worming their way into your ears. Tongues of tradition, tension and camaraderie make this the premier event for the world's competitive wordplay community
- Brought to you this year by the City of Austin, Brush Square Museums Foundation, and co- sponsored by Austin's very own Fantastic Magic Camp, as well as the internationally renowned podcast, Pun Intensive, The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition will commence Saturday, November 21, 2020
- Preliminary live rounds begin Saturday, November 21, 2020, at 11:00am CST, lasting about 2 hours. Later that evening, live competition resumes at 7:00pm CST with head-to-head prime time heats. - See Pun-Off.com for schedule details, links, and more.
[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition
This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.
The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words you’ve ever heard.
The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.
The ancient Greeks greatly feared volcanic explosions from Mt. Olympus, so they developed a tradition of sacrificing young maidens to the Gods on the mountain. Every year they selected five girls, and sacrificed four. Then they assigned the other one to stomp the olive harvest. That’s where we get Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
Cantaloupe
I told them it was a naan issue.
It was his ex-tradition
He wanted to write haiku
It was from all Woks of Life
It's the traditional changing of the gourd.
Me Sew Sari.
I thought it was strange, that all omelettes are so small, but in France they say that one egg is un oeuf.
That's a water color.
Because they cantaloupe.
Why, a nice big bowl of fettuccine afraid-o of course.
Cantaloupe (can’t elope)
Naan traditional.
They decided to change it though because it was a pine in the ash
Because it cantaloupe.
