The villagers gathered as the guards dragged the blacksmith through the town square.

One of the villagers turned and asked another, "what happened?"

She told him, "he's been arrested for forgery."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 25 2019
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A dear friend of mine passed away recently. He asked that we spread his cremated ashes in the big fountain in the town square.

He will be mist.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mandatory_Attribute
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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That's an Oddly Shaped Pie

There was a village that had four competing pie shops, each inhabiting their own corner of the town. One of these shops was named "The Circle".

The Circle wanted to gain an edge on the other shops, they wanted to stand out. They realized they could transport more pies in their boxes if they made the pies square instead of circular, so they would stack better. The only place in the village to have these oddly-shaped pies is at The Circle.

So, for the area of The Circle, the pie are squared.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 380
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tomfc
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 14 2017
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Regarding the diets of dairy cows.

I grew up in Vermont. Around my town were plenty of dairy farms, inviting the always wonderful manure aroma. An aroma that nearly forced my father to inhale deeply through his nose, saying, "Ah, fresh Vermont air!"

That's an excellent Dad one liner, as are most dad jokes, but he had another great one that I'm getting to.

You see, the hay bails we saw growing up in Vermont were mostly the cube variety. Hay bailing technology at the time created cubes of hay, so that's what dotted the fields they'd graze in.

As we grew older, we starting noticing the now more common round bails of hay. Dad was not pleased.

I asked him what the problem was or, at least, what his problem was with the round bails. The best jokes are set up when you ask for them.

So, he tells me. New farming technology allowed the round bails to be created more efficiently. They used less fuel in the bailers, took less passes on the field to gather the hay. They used less twine, and even though they didn't fill a truck as well as square bails, there was still a net monetary gain from the efficiency gained elsewhere.

However, studies were done on the bails. The cows approached them differently due to the different alignment of surface area. The way the rain hit the bails and rolled off as opposed to soaking in leached nutrients out of the hay. Some cows even mistook the shape of bail for another animal, and approached them so nervously that their heart rates were known to raise significantly; such a rate that a tinge of acidity could be tasted by those in the know in their milk.

What all of this amounted to... is that with the new round bails of hay, the cows just weren't getting a good square meal.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/estomasi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 06 2013
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My Dad this morning on his plans for the day...

Dad: "Oh can we go to the square whilst we're in town? They have the worlds biggest pool table on display!"

Me: "Oh, really?"

Dad:"Yeah! We'll need to leave early though - because there will be a big cue!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ChiefThunderhooves
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 16 2013
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Got my buddy on the way to a show

Me: "did you eat?"

Bud: "Nah I figured we'd grab a slice when we're in town, I don't know what pizza is around there though."

Me: "Well all pizza is around there unless you order a square."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/liartellinglies
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 24 2014
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