Torpedoes Puns

Pho Ton Torpedoes.

(A consequence of reading a front page post about the sale to Taiwan while watching ST:TNG.)

Whoops wrong sub

The belly button

Torpedo.

TL;DR need sex pun related to the navy!

Hey everyone! My boyfriend is coming back on leave from the navy this Friday. I am making a sign to welcome him home. I need a sex pun related to the navy. One's like "put your ship in my harbor". Thanks in advance!

Today, Mexicans celebrate the torpedoing of the U.S.S. Hellmans in the Mexico City harbor.

*Original Content But Quite Possibly Not Unique

P.S. Yes, I know where Mexico City is.

My father-in-law is good at puns and dad jokes, and we usually just groan. However, the other day he and I had this exchange:

FIL: I'm disappointed in this sub.

Me: Would you say that it's sub par?

FIL: The lack of meatballs really torpedoed it.

Me: It would take a real hero to save it.

FIL: My buddy Hoagie, he could do it.

Me: yeah, he's a real grinder.

FIL and me: [fistbump]

Literally the first time he and I fistbumped. My wife and mother-in-law both facepalmed.

Whoops wrong sub