Time Off Puns

Oops, wrong sub

I'd like to have the time off between New Year and Christmas.

...and she ran 100m in 10 seconds

Turns out it's illegal to Hasslehoff.

"Well at least I'm not walking around the house going "Hurgerbgehbh blurgeblegh blurgega, hurr dee hurr, derr!"

To which my dad said,

"Yes you are".

Island.

He has a well paying job.

They said I exceeded my Loggins attempts.

If you don't know the movie, there's a scene where the main character (R) is attempting to drive a car and he's starting and stopping because he can't control his limbs fully.

So my dad just quietly goes. "Makes sense, he's got bad motor control."

But it's a mute point

I am well known among my friends as a Pungeon Master, but my brother foolishly decided to challenge me.

We went back and forth for a while, the theme ocean/fish puns. Finally, I busted out the nuclear strike that caused him to literally get up and walk away.

Me: Why are fish all atheists?

Brother: Why?

Me: Cause they're all, "Ick, theology."

Silent, he stood, left the restaurant and drove off. He was my ride T-T

Disappointed, I muttered under my breath "gimme a break"

...he says "I really need to get this floor raised so I don't have to bend over so far."

"There goes an escaPEA."

Roses are red, violets are blue, I am schizophrenic and so am I.