what's at the end of the rainbow?
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👤︎ u/Kyu303
📅︎ Oct 30 2019
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What do you do when you're somewhere over the rainbow?

Weigh a pie

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👤︎ u/JMACOB
📅︎ Dec 20 2019
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Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?

The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.

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📅︎ Nov 23 2019
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I finally found it. The pot at the end of the rainbow!
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👤︎ u/mehaxe
📅︎ Jun 09 2019
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Somewhere over the rainbow...
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📅︎ Jan 21 2015
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What happened to the rainbow after he robbed a bank?

He went to prism for light(f)

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📅︎ Apr 04 2018
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What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?

Oh no! My arch nemesis!

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📅︎ Nov 15 2016
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What is at the end of a rainbow?

The letter W.

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👤︎ u/Zamibe
📅︎ Apr 14 2016
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Where do you go to weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow.

(sing it, and you’ll get it)

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👤︎ u/H3CKBOY
📅︎ Nov 14 2020
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With so much madness in the world today, I'm trying hard to Compose myself...

But I'm going to need a minuet to get a Handel on things, so please Holst on. There's no Haydn from reality, even if I can't stanza much more. I'm guessing the current madness originated in Britten - possibly during the Brahms age. Alas, I'm so Bizet writing my Chopin Liszt I will have to get Bach to you later when I'm Abel to compose my thoughts on how to overcome. GRRRRR.... I keep forgetting to purchase rainbow Schubert and must write that down. I also have to fix my microwave which Baroque earlier today when my son tried to Satie some vegetables. I do wish he would've refrained. Oh, I still have to go to the Barber as well. But, I digress... Once the madness calms down I hope y'all can Ravel in the moment. If you don't understand it, though, that's okay - it's all Grieg to me and I don't want to cause y'all any additional Strauss.

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📅︎ Aug 27 2020
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Where do they weigh pies?

Somewhere, Over the Rainbow, way up high, (singing voice)

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👤︎ u/fingadod
📅︎ Feb 22 2020
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Some of the gem's of Steven Wright

The work of Steven Wright, he's the famous Erudite (comic) scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."

1   - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2   - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3   - Half the people you know are below average.

4   - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6   - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7   - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8   - If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.

9   - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ...... But she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.

25 - If at first, you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is a place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

34 - If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

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👤︎ u/ksbalaji
📅︎ Jan 30 2020
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I don't wanna go to prism!

What is the rainbow's favorite place to go? The ARCade. What is the rainbow's least favorite place to go? Prism.

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📅︎ Apr 20 2019
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Keith Urban is a dad

He's judging on American Idol and one contestant says "I'm going to sing Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and Keith suggest "You should sing it here"

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📅︎ Jan 09 2015
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📅︎ Feb 22 2016
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My Little Pony gone wrong

My sister posted about loving my little ponies, and we got on the topic of rainbow horse poop jokes. My dad just pops in with this:

Dad - I can't think of one right now. I do, however, have a poem that is somewhat related: (first assume standard high-class poetry recitation position; head high, chest out, hands clasped behind back, heels together, toes @ 180 degrees, knees slightly bent): "In days of old, when knights were bold, and toilets weren't invented; they left their load beside the road, and went away contented."

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📅︎ Dec 10 2015
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Harry Connick Jr. on American Idol.

Contestant: I'm going the sing Somewhere Over The Rainbow. Harry Connick Jr: I think you should sing here.

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📅︎ Jan 09 2015
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What has all the colors of a rainbow?

The rainbow.

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📅︎ May 29 2018
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Where do you weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow...

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👤︎ u/yeahmaybe2
📅︎ Nov 21 2020
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Where do you go to weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie.

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👤︎ u/klwill1192
📅︎ Nov 17 2020
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Where do you go to weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow.

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👤︎ u/Gil-Gandel
📅︎ Oct 08 2020
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Where would you go to weigh a pie?

🎶 Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie 🎶

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📅︎ Jul 29 2020
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Where do you weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie.

👍︎ 904
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📅︎ Oct 17 2018
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Where do you weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow... weigh a pie.

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👤︎ u/lanson
📅︎ Dec 21 2019
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Where do you weigh a pie?

Some where over the rainbow, weigh a pie.

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Nov 03 2019
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