Before we left the restaurant, the waitress asked if we wanted a box for leftovers.

"No, I was hoping you'd just give them to us, for free."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2021
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Today someone bought our department a box of donuts and some lotto tickets. The potential grand prize was $3,000, in which my boss exclaimed "Well that isn't enough to retire".

I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.

The physical pain on his face was priceless.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 160
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Megaman_90
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2020
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Why did the man give his wife a box of Super Poli-Grip after their fight?

Because it's a great fix-a-tiff.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cgtravers1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2021
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I found a knife at the bottom of my ornament box (no idea why) so I picked it up and announced β€œβ€˜twas the knife before Christmas!”
πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mother_of_baggins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2020
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When I was digging through the wardrobe on the weekend, I managed to find a present for the kids that I wrapped in a box last year and forgot to give them. Bargain

Can't wait to see their faces when they realize they have a puppy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2020
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What did the ship’s cat use instead of a litter box?

The poop deck.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
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I bought a box of condoms from the store the other day and the cashier asked me if I wanted a bag

I said β€œnah, I’ll just turn the lights off.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Theunkillable
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2020
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Did you hear about the spies who planted tiny microphones inside a box of tic-tacs?

They were in four mints.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2020
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Do you guys want to know what I put in the wooden box I made and threw in the ocean?

Never mind it’s a sea-crate....

(I made this up please don’t murder me)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 149
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DubsAli
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 19 2020
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My boyfriend’s cat, Jack, recently discovered the Amazon box lying on the floor. He jumped in and started playing in it. I guess you can say....

He’s Jack in the box.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/itsmeeeskai
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2020
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There was a locked metal box at an auction. The auctioneer said it was from the 1920’s and owned by really wealthy man. There could’ve been some really valuable stuff in it or it could just be empty. I didn’t want to bid anymore than $100 on it.

I thought it was a safe bet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/schutwo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 07 2020
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Why can't beggers be allowed in court for selection to the Jury box like any other non felon citizen?

Cuz, beggers can't be choosers!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/imgprojts
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2020
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The waiter approached me as I finished eating and asked, β€œyou wanna box for those leftovers?”

I replied, β€œNo, I hate violence. May I just pay for it with my card?”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 73
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/absolriven
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 20 2020
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The orthopedic surgeon finally found his model of the human wrist behind an old box of golf tees

I guess you could say he couldn’t see the faux wrist for the tees.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DAMWrite1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 03 2020
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Last week I was on the edge of a cliff, holding on to a box full of shredded cheese. I loved that box, but I knew I had to let it go. I didn’t want to...

But it was for the grater good

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Communist-panda123
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2020
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I got my wife a copy of the Pixar movie Up when it came out a long time ago, but she dropped it while opening it. She dropped it so many times over the years that the box is very damaged and the disc is no longer playable. Her other movies are perfectly fine, but not this one.

She did not hold Up well.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 310
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mortalfloater
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2020
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A chicken was put into the penalty box during a hockey game.

Apparently he was suspected of fowl play.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2020
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They were in the same damn box!

We will never know!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2020
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Why did they bury the sick box underground?

Because it was a coffin

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
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I made a small house with a cardboard box for the group of 10 ants running around in my room. Technically, I am now their landlord and they are my...

Tenants.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sadchowmrade
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 25 2020
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This is (practically) the corniest gift imaginable. At the bottom of the soon to be gift wrapped box of corniness was a pair of Korn tickets for my lady...who enjoys my corny puns.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mr-JasonTe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2020
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I saw a great deal online for a 'Replica Rolex' for only $50. I just opened the box and found it is completely made of wood...

To make matters worse, it is covered with a dark circular imperfection in the wood grain. I won't accept this - knot on my watch.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2020
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Someone brought a box full of flue dirt to the formal dress gala for the chimney sweepers...

It was quite suity in there!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21 2020
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At the restaurant, my family was nearly finished eating and I still had half a plate of food left. The waitress asked, "Do you wanna box for that?"

I replied, "No thanks, I'd rather wrestle for it!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 06 2020
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The waiter asked me if I wanted a box for the leftovers...

So I said, "No, but I'll wrestle you for them."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chocolate-queen
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2020
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People think just because I grew up in the ghetto back in the 80s, I should walk around carrying a big old boom box on my shoulder.

But I refuse to go with that stereotype.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 21 2020
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What’s the difference between a post box and a rhinoceros?

Don’t know? Ok I’d better post the letter myself...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hideandsheep
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10 2020
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My son asked why I keep a box of matches in the fridge

I told him it's for when I want to have a light snack

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PhotonSharpedo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2020
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The waitress came over and saw my leftovers and asked, "do ya wanna box for that?"

I responded with, "no, but we can arm wrestle any day."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 977
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ajjanialthor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2019
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Checking out with the cashier at Costco when he asked "do you wanna box for your food?"

I said you dont want these hands son.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fartingpinetree
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 07 2020
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When getting ready to leave the restaurant, our hot waitress noticed by leftovers and asked: β€œdo you wanna box for that?”

I said: β€œI’d rather wrestle for it”.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hoosierdaddiesx
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 20 2020
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Dad, did you open the cereal box?

No, it’s bran new!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2020
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Me: I'm going to grow out the hair on my upper lip, then shave it, put it in a box, and hide that box.

Wife: Why...?

Me: It's going to be my secret stash

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2020
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Jack in the box
πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2019
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Waitress: Do you want a box for the rest of your food?

Dad: No. But I'll wrestle you for it!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bakedschwarzenbach
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 21 2019
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The doctor told me my voice box is damaged and i might never speak again.

I can't tell you how upset i am

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HungryPizzax
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 14 2019
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Friend of mine at work won a fishing pole and tackle box at the Christmas party.

He drives a mustang and was trying to figure out how to get it in his car.

Friend: β€œHow do I get this thing in my car? It’s almost as tall as I am!”

Me: β€œGuess you’re just gonna have to angle it.”

Friend and everyone in a 30 foot radius: -groan and facepalm-

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Returningdarkness
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2019
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I was planning to buy my kids a jack-in-the-box for Christmas

But after looking for hours, I decided to pass. Nothing really jumped out at me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/flappypappus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2019
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Will Glass shatter the box office or will it just break even.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mr_freeze___
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2019
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I thought I broke my ankle when I tripped on the tissue box

Turns out it was only tissue damage

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/eternalrefuge86
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2019
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OC: What is it called when a mama cat delivers her babies in the cat box?

A litter litter, literally.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fatcatmikachu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2019
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Why did the juice box call the police?

Because it was graped

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2019
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If you can see the box scores before the game even starts...

You must have ESP-N!

( ΰ²  ΝœΚ–ΰ² )

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Soylent_X
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2019
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The cop who had theorized the murder weapon was a box of school books found that he was correct!

It was a textbook case.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2019
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Waiter: Do you wanna box for the leftover?

Me: No, but I'll wrestle you for them.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ArshmanR
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2019
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