Twat Puns

A list of puns related to "Twat"

What do you call the kid in class that always demands the teacher give the exam results ASAP?

Markus

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👤︎ u/Lakkabrah
📅︎ Aug 16 2020
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What do you call a waffle laying on a beach?

Sandy eggo.

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👤︎ u/HappyyTrees
📅︎ Aug 16 2019
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I met a deaf gynecologist today..

Apparently, he reads lips.

👍︎ 3k
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👤︎ u/malagrond
📅︎ Feb 18 2016
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Somebody came to me yesterday and said, "You're wasting your time and money on all these inventions!"

It was at this point that the Slap-A-Twat Automatic 3000 came into its own!

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👤︎ u/Stoatwobbler
📅︎ Jan 18 2019
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An archaeologist was examining an ancient looking post in a field...

Carved on to the post was some roman-looking words:

TOTI

EMUL

ESTO

After two hours of analysing the words, he was approached by the farmer that owned the field. "What are you looking at chap?" Said the farmer.

"I'm trying to figure out the meaning of the writing on this post... it looks Roman! This could be a great find!" The archaeologist replied.

"Let me take a look" says the farmer as he analyses the carving.

"It says "To tie mules to" you silly twat".

Credit to Stephen Fry on No Such Thing As A Fish podcast

Edit - Formatting

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👤︎ u/InkJetPrinters
📅︎ Jan 18 2019
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Dad - Joked my brother

Brother - What's the difference between MI5 and MI6?

Me - 1

Brother - Twat

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👤︎ u/Jamais-Vu
📅︎ Nov 25 2014
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