For my anniversary, 12 women named Rose showed up while we were having breakfast. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" Screamed my wife.

"Honey, I got you a bouquet."

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📅︎ Nov 20 2020
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My family just celebrated the 200th anniversary of owning a buffalo farm!

Yep. It's our bison-tennial.

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📅︎ Jan 25 2020
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Me: Dad, are you excited for the 50th anniversary of the lunar landing today???

Dad: I'm over the moon.

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👤︎ u/SarahJBP
📅︎ Jul 20 2019
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What did the physicist give his wife for their anniversary?

Joule-ery

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📅︎ Jun 27 2019
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It's the tenth Anniversary of Hitler's favorite day...

Nein, nein, nein!

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📅︎ Sep 09 2019
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I had to return the glasses I bought as an anniversary present for my wife.

She still can't see things my way

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👤︎ u/Chateau512
📅︎ Aug 12 2019
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What did the Canadian deer say to her boyfriend when he forgot their anniversary?

Do you even caribout me?

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👤︎ u/Knight499
📅︎ Jun 17 2019
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In honor of the 10 year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death, Kraft foods has krafted up a new salad dressing.

Called Neverland Ranch.

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📅︎ Jun 25 2019
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A man walks into a bar looking depressed. Bar tender asks whats wrong? Man says its his 50th wedding anniversary. And that when he was a teenager he got his girl friend pregnant. And to make it worse the father was a Judge and he told me if i did'nt marry his daughter i would go to Jail for 50 year

Today I could be a free man !

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📅︎ Dec 23 2018
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TIL: The Lincoln penny debuted on the Anniversary of his birth...

It all makes cents now!

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📅︎ Mar 12 2019
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Girlfriend on Anniversary: "Wow, the card you got me feels heavy!"

Me: "It is carrying the weight of my emotions."

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👤︎ u/AveryW
📅︎ Sep 26 2018
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Last night I had a dream that I ate a 50 lb marshmallow.

This morning I woke up and my pillow was gone.

Today is the 13th anniversary of my father passing and this was my favorite joke that he used to tell. Enjoy.

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📅︎ Jan 06 2021
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Getting a printer

For our anniversary my wife requested a printer/scanner. After doing some research I tell her that Brother would be a good brand to get.

"The one I'm looking at is black. That's a little bit racists, right?" Her face doesn't change, an indication that the joke failed and just to move on.

So she asks me if the printer has cables.

"Nope! It works through the wifi so you won't have to worry about wires! You can even print stuff from your phone!"

"Oh. So doesn't that mean I can't hook a Brother up?"

I was so proud of her.

👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/Kupy
📅︎ Jun 18 2016
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My boyfriend is gonna be a great dad one day.

I saw him picking up a quarter off the floor.

I said to him, "Is that where you keep all your quarters? That makes a lot of sense."

He says, "Yeah, 25 cents." then laughed for 5 minutes to himself, then kept laughing about it sporadically throughout the day.

Edit: I just wanna say thanks to my s/o /u/rainbowdongs for being so hilarious. <3 Happy anniversary! Love you!

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👤︎ u/cruelhag
📅︎ Nov 24 2014
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My dad is perfect for this subreddit

Just discovered this subreddit, so no I'll share some of my ole' dad jokes.

So, my mom is upset at my dad because he didn't get her a 25th anniversary ring.

Mom - "I can't believe you didn't get me a ring. Listen, if I am the one to die first, and you remarry, which I would be fine with, and then you get your second wife a 25th anniversary ring, I will come back and haunt you."

My father ponders this threat, and after a short pause, he looks at her and...

Dad - "Tell me, how would that be any different than now?!"

👍︎ 473
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📅︎ Sep 04 2013
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Can you guys give me really good back puns?

My one year anniversary since i had back surgery is coming up and i cant think of any really good back jokes, if you guys could get the back surgery jokes straightened out that would be great!

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👤︎ u/landophant
📅︎ Apr 18 2013
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jock bra

Not a direct joke, but I was glad to hear on the radio the other day that the inspiration behind the invention of the sports bra was a dad joke

http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/09/29/554476966/40-years-of-athletic-support-happy-anniversary-to-the-sports-bra

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👤︎ u/balltyler
📅︎ Oct 04 2017
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My first dad joke worthy of this subreddit.

For our three year anniversary, the girlfriend decided we should go to this craftstore and paint/glaze some art in a kiln to remember this anniversary. I reluctantly agreed.

We start browsing the examples of what other people had done and we see a mugs painted like flowers, minions, and one painted as Harry Potter.

At which I said, "Oh look. Harry Pottery."

The laugh I got out of the worker made the trip worth it. The girlfriend was just embarrassed. I was proud.

👍︎ 87
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📅︎ Feb 08 2015
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Dadjoked in bed!

Laying in bed with my wife the morning after an anniversary date. "Hunny, those mussels were SO good last night!"

"Well yeah, I mean I'm not working out for no reason!"

Rolls eyes. Gets out of bed and makes coffee. Was not spoken of again. I regret nothing.

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📅︎ Aug 25 2014
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Dadjoked the wife at the Old Spaghetti Factory.

Went out for an anniversary dinner with the wife and kids to the Old Spaghetti Factory. If you're not familiar, their mascot is a trolley car and most restaurants have one right in the middle.

We got seated at a table in the trolley, and service was great... At first. And then it became apparent that our server had given up on any sort of tip. So, at the end of the meal...

Wife: "We shouldn't tip her very well. Our service was terrible at the end."

Me: "Yeah, it really went off the rails."

Wife: eyeroll

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📅︎ Jan 16 2015
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Dad's thoughts on open bars

Been working an unpaid internship for the last three months. Tonight is the company's party for their 5th anniversary in business.

Dad: "Are they gonna cover your drinks."

Me: "I sure hope so. If it's not open bar, I'll be pissed."

Dad: "No you won't, you'll be sober."

Shoulda seen that one coming...

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📅︎ Dec 13 2013
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Dad joke at the Zoo

My husband and I were at the zoo for our anniversary. We are standing at the otter enclosure and a dad and his daughter walk up. The little girl says, "Oh, that's what is in here." The dad looks at the two of us and says, "It otter be." We all laugh and then he says, "That sure was punny." and laughs some more before walking away.

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👤︎ u/smoochums
📅︎ Nov 17 2013
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My Grandad dropped this one at dinner...

An Official is inspecting a lunatic asylum to find one inmate to be released for the Asylum's anniversary, after several hours of visiting the numerous wards he enters one where he finds a man sitting on his bed carving a wooden block. He approaches the man and asks him what he was carving, the man on the bed replies that he carves wooden clothes pegs, and that each day he makes around 5. "Well that certainly is impressive" the inspector tells the man, "I think I shall recommend you to the warden for release." The inspector then notices a man hanging from the ceiling, "What is he doing up there?" he again questions the man on the bed. "Oh, he thinks he's a light bulb!" The man on the bed replies, "Well, shouldn't we get him down?" the Inspector asks, shocked, "Don't be daft!", remarks the Man on the bed, "I can't work in the dark!"

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📅︎ Jul 30 2013
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My husband did a super sweet dad joke.

Yesterday was our anniversary and he was in a really bad mood since his boss changed his schedule around without any consideration to him or our family. Anyway, while he was getting out of the car I said: "Maybe it would make you feel better to tell your wife Happy Anniversary before you leave." Husband: "I'll tell you the next time I see you." He opens the back door of the car to get his stuff out, he looks at me and says "Happy Anniversary."

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📅︎ Mar 01 2014
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Dadjoked the receptionists at the medical lab today

It's cloudy with no rain today, and when I got to the lab in the basement, here's what happened.

Receptionist: Has the sun come out yet today?

Me: No, not yet. But I did see an old bomber and two fighters for the D-Day anniversary.

Nurse passing by: Where were they?

Me: In the sky, where else?

*cue laughter and one "he sure got you good" from the receptionists*

Mission accomplished.

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📅︎ Jun 06 2014
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My dad is a dadjoke dad through and through. He usually doesn't get me but this one needed some recognition from my behalf.

My mom was showing him pictures of my cousin on her phone that had sent her pictures in front of a famous ice cream parlor back in our hometown. It was the parlor's 9th anniversary and my cousin was pictured in front of a big "9" in the store. My mom was explaining to my dad that the place had been open for 9 years and my dad replies with...

"Wow, that's impressive. How did they get the ice cream to not melt all this time?"

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👤︎ u/bendary3
📅︎ Jun 15 2014
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Dadjoked by the wife..

While out at our anniversary dinner tonight, my wife and I were trying a Halibut plate that had a lot of things neither of us had ever tried before, a lot of which looked rather strange. Just as we were getting ready to start eating she says, "I'm just gonna do it for the halibut."

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📅︎ Apr 27 2014
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Melancholy baby

At my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary, my grandpa says, "I always called Shirley my melancholy baby because she has a head like a melon and a face like a collie."

This was a decade ago, so it didn't make any more sense then that he was referencing a song from the 1920's/30's.

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📅︎ Sep 17 2013
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