The orthopedic surgeon finally found his model of the human wrist behind an old box of golf tees

I guess you could say he couldn’t see the faux wrist for the tees.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DAMWrite1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Buddy of mine asked which tees transgender folks golf from.

I replied "so you're suggesting they need an LGBTee?"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjcooke
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2016
🚨︎ report
Anyone for a drink? A nice cup of tee?
πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darkimus-prime
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Tee hee
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pinkpunther96
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œThere’s Bean an Accident” β€” Tee Shirt I Designed
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/magicswitchboard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
This post, officer.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnsteadyKoala
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
If my name was Travis, I would get a tee shirt and put my name across the chest.

It would be a travesty.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoobslikeJagger
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
It's a tea tea tee.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iron_pancake_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
COVID-9-Tee
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AltheaTheDog
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Depending on your golf handicap you can move your tee forwards or backwards

Move it too far forward and it becomes a birdie tee.

Too far back and it becomes a bogey tee

Get it just right?

Now that's a party.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I need a good pun.

Give me your best golf/pirate puns. All I can think of is High Tees (high seas) or something about a hook.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icecoast44
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the military insist on wearing a uniform?

To minimise casual tees

πŸ‘︎ 161
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πŸ‘€︎ u/severus_snape9
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My business of making T-shirts decorated with dayglo currency was struggling, so I asked my dad for advice.

He said, β€œI’ve told you a million times, money doesn’t glow on Tees.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the pro shop manager require another golfer to the trio looking for a tee time?

He didn't want to foursome.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nutbagger18
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of clothing should a sheriff at work not go anywhere without?

His depu-tee.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crysalis8
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a man on a bicycle wearing a tuxedo and a man on a unicycle wearing shorts and a tee shirt?

Attire.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SubSum87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Where's the one place it's acceptable to drink and drive?

The golf tee.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BanjosRuleDude
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
ATaT Tee
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nodnodwinkwink
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m not a big fan of the tea in Germany

Over there it’s β€œDer Tee”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend has peg on his short sleeve shirt for balancing small white balls on when he wants to whack them with a club...

He always wears his tee-shirt when golfing.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor, Doctor, some days I feel like a tee-pee and other days I feel like a wig-wam.

You're too tents.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I took my son to sign up for tee ball

And he joined the kids playing a pick up game while I talked to the coaches.

The coach said, "He's pretty good, what is he, four?"

I said, "I have no idea what he's for. "

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AManWithOneHand
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2018
🚨︎ report
A guy goes into his doctor's office and says - I'm a tee-pee, I'm a wigwam....I'm a tee-pee, I'm a wigwam....I'M A TEE-PEE, I'M A WIGWAM!!!!

The doctor says calm down, you're two tense.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
🚨︎ report
My new business failed miserably, I was selling T-shirts featuring glow in the dark dollar bills

But then my Dad reminded me: money doesn’t glow on tees.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad loved telling the same jokes over and over, one of his favourites was: What happened to the Indian who drank too much tea? He drowned in his tee pee
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Davidiamdavid
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Why is the army so strict about their uniforms?

To minimize casual tees...

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Once long ago, a fisherman heard beautiful singing while he was alone a at sea.

He followed the enchanting voice till he came upon a singing yellowfin tuna. He knew he had found something incredible. He caught the fish, kept it alive and returned home.

He showed his friends and posted videos on tik tok, and the singing fish went viral. It could sing almost anything, but Pavarotti was it's favorite.

The fisherman toured around the world with the fish and set up a website to sell merch. The clothing he made sold like crazy, so he ordered thousands of short sleeve shirts to be made in advance.

Unfortunately, the fish died, and the public lost interest. The fisherman was left with endless opera tuna tees.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/basmith0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What type of facial hair often has to leave in a hurry?

A moustache.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kettykie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I once had a job in a t-shirt factory

I once had a job in a t-shirt factory. Every day, t-shirts would come down the line, and using this big rubber stamp, I’d apply a handful of dots to them, at random, to just given them a general design that wasn’t blank t-shirt. It was soul sucking, but it paid the bills.

However, I kept running into a problem. I wasn’t applying the dots fast enough. It was a mental thing - I’d get hung up on where should I apply the next dot so it doesn’t look bad, etc. But one of the guys who’d been there longer than I had gave me a piece of advice. He told me to cross to my eyes. That way, I could just kinda zone out and hit the t-shirt a few times randomly without paying much attention to where exactly I was applying the dots. It worked like magic.

Well eventually I was getting ready to leave the factory and they had me train my replacement. It only took one day. I left him with one piece of advice. I told him not to get too hung up on the specific details but just to make sure he dotted his tees and crossed his eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoyoteTheFatal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time

Are they guilty of resisting a rest?

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moxoria
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call white t-shirts that are too small?

Tighty white-tees

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DankBoi-69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my girlfriend what book she was reading

She replied "It's a mystery."

I said "Doesn't it say on the cover?"

Cue eye rolling.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leasedweasel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Knock knock

Who’s there

To

To who?

It’s to whom.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Macimoar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Time for Golf Puns!

But whatever fore?

A little birdie told me golf puns are a great way to make friends, so I thought I might as well join the club. I had to wedge myself into a car to get there, and boy did I realize the irony of doing so when I met the driver! He handed me a bunch of donuts, and I was so happy, there was a hole in one! When I got to the club, the driver kept telling me he had to put the car into par for it to stop moving! So I got of of the car and walked through the door only to realize that my driver had ditched me. Talk about rough right?

Anyway, thats all the golf puns I have for now, say for this last one.
Tee-hee!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/s0apyjam
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a really cold shirt?

Iced Tee

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/filthyaverage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A golf buddy of mine is having a get together tonight.

It’s gonna be quite the par-tee.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cookydoo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
My Dad. Every Morning. To Everyone.

Dad: How'd you sleep??

Everyone: Good, and you?

Dad: I slept with my eyes closed.

Dad: http://imgur.com/M3jPjIA

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kauto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2014
🚨︎ report
Riots broke out at the thickest shirt competition...

They suffered heavy casual tees.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HandCrimped
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Apparently there was a mass shooting at the Gap.

There were a lot of casual tees.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Guys, I introduced my dad to Venmo.

He just requested $50 from me for β€œ6 and under tee ball registration fee.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/c_h_u_c_k
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
A bombing happened in a clothes store.

There were many casual tees.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nm3sis
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shirt with a stoned marsupial on it?

High koala tee.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arsenal_12
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Spanish farmer tell his dad before moving to the city?

Ciudad.

πŸ‘︎ 758
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ratshot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2015
🚨︎ report
How do statisticians tell if a shirt is hand made

They perform a tee test. To determine if it's normally distributed.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
"Can you dump out my coffee? It tastes like tea"

As my wife was taking out 1 yr old upstairs for a nap she requested, "can you dump out my coffee? It tastes like tea". This is what I saw when I dumped her coffee out:

https://imgur.com/gallery/11r9U

Does it still count as a dad joke if it's executed by a mom?

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CowboyFromSmell
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2017
🚨︎ report
Why is the military so strict about their uniforms?

To minimize casual tees

πŸ‘︎ 785
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmarSB2001
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Why is the army so strict about their uniforms?

To minimize casual tees

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is the Army so strict on uniforms?

To minimise casual tees

πŸ‘︎ 328
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imnotafanoftoast
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2017
🚨︎ report

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