The driver said βI love my job, no one tells me what to doβ
I said βTurn left.β
Operation Toot And Calm βEm will last a week.
I feel like Iβve been taken to the cleaners!
Hailing taxis.
Turns out people donβt like it when you go the extra mile for them.
the driver asks: "where wolf?"
-Taxi Vader
A taxi.
I guess you could say he was Van Halen.
Dad: OK......Sorry Taxi, was there something else?
A corn on the cab!
"Driver, hurry!" I implored. "Her contractions are getting closer together!"
He makes a cabinet.
"How many of you are there?" he asked.
I said, "I'm the only version of me."
Where, wolf?
*Auuuu*
"What was that for?" I asked, shocked.
To which he replied, "Hey, that's what I do best. I drive people away."
It was hailing cabs.
He didn't pick up
ScrewDriver
Guber
I guess I drove him out of business...
But instead it just crashed and burned
I just need to download the drivers.
He sighed and said, "I'm not falling for that one."
I said, "Trust me, it is."
He let me in and five minutes later I heard him honking on the horn, so I looked out the window.
He said, "Stop messing around, will you? Your wallet. You must have found it by now."
I said, "No, I haven't got it."
"Well, why the hell not?"
I said, "This isn't my house."
Police said he was intaxicated
I bet the driver's livid that he doesn't have a car any more.
A concerned passerby stopped and asked him why he was throwing ice at taxis.
The man replied, "I'm hailing a cab."
Screwdriver.
A woman and her 12-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings.
"Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.
The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money."
The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mom?"
His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers, "Yes."
After a few minutes the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them?"
She said, "Most of them become taxi drivers."
A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to hand him the money.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said,
"Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me."
The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much,to which the driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all.
Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 year
Dad: Sure is son.. it's driving me nuts!
His funeral will be held on the next road on the left.
The driver said, "If you are sick on one of my seats I will charge you Β£50."
Thankfully I was sick on three of them.
"Hello famous on Instagram, I'm dad"
He was tired of people talking behind his back
Then I said, "Turn left here!"
Turns out people donβt like it when you go the extra mile for them.
Hailing taxis!
Hailing taxis!
Hailing taxis
