"I want a tattoo going down my spine, but I'll let you do anything you want," my son told the tattoo man. The tattoo man agreed to it and ended up tattooing an enormous gun my son's his spine.

Well, I guess that backfired.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 01 2018
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Tattoo pun. [My first pun post.]

If I get my face tattooed on my body, I'd get AHEAD of myself.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rose_is_Deerest
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 09 2019
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My dad always said, β€œ Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”

β€œShe knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 238
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OMMOPOWER
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2021
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My wife has the most weird abacus tattoo on her back.

But I can always count on her

πŸ‘οΈŽ 79
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 31 2021
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I got the word β€œOuch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My dad asked me if it still hurts.

I told him yes, but it’ll heel.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lildinger68
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 28 2021
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Got a new tattoo

My wife was complaining about how i'm not spontanious or creative, unless it involves terrible jokes, so i went out and got a tattoo (my first one). But since im not very creative i had them tattoo a pic of my thermos from work. I went home all excited and showed her my new tattoo! She was really confused about it. She looked at it for awhile and when she went to touch it i yelled at her not to touch the thermos tat. I think she's leaving me now :(

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bosozokulove
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2020
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If you got a tattoo of a thermos..

You could then tell people you have a thermos-tat.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nozerone
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2021
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I work as a tattoo artist in a wellness center making very specific designs and everyone get really surprised when I tell them that I'm also a doctor...

Nobody expects the Spa Niche Ink Physician.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 41
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DandyBeyond
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2021
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maui's tattoos
πŸ‘οΈŽ 55
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sunflower_44
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2021
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My wife won’t let me get a tattoo of a grizzly on each bicep.

She is infringing on my right to bear arms.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Doc_OToole
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
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I’m going to get a tattoo of a bee.

It’s probably going to sting but it will be worth it. Credit to /u/louseashole

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kittencrimetime
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2021
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Massive protest spread across Madrid earlier today to protest the nation's Supreme Court ruling that bans tattoos.

Nobody accepts the Spanish ink decision.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Somethinggood4
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 27 2021
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See? To prove I'm not boring, I got a tattoo!

Her: oh, cool! What is it?

Me: Its my thermos, from work!

Her: Oh, well um, the line work is really...

Me: Don't touch the thermos-tat!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19 2021
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From my 7yr old daughter: Why was the pig covered in ink?

Because he lived in a pen!

So very proud!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/soaraf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2021
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What did the prostitute tell the tattoo artist?

Tit for tat

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ancil5199
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 05 2021
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Men with tattoos used to make people nervous...

Now they make them lattes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2021
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Did you know that all Danish Boy Scouts have to get a tattoo?

It's their Denmark.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 113
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2020
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Tattoo place wants you to Walken (OC)
πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thatsagoodpint
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 08 2020
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A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks β€œWhat are you counting?”

And the guy says β€œhow many tattoos I have now”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/deepsea333
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2021
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What do danish people call their tattoos?

Denmarks

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/longestyeahboiiyet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2020
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So what does everyone think of my new tattoo
πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CocoPopsGod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2020
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People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision

πŸ‘οΈŽ 172
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gamer_Noob_69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
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Discount Dad Joke

I have a coupon tattooed on my arm that I scan every time I buy groceries. Some people give me dirty looks, but then I redeem myself.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/frudedude
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18 2021
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A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself

It was very cymbalic.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shooception
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2020
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My mathematician friend wants to get a tattoo of Pi on his face.

I said, β€œThat’s irrational.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2020
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I was going to get a face tattoo but decided to get a neck tattoo instead.

I guess I’ll have to work my way up to it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gnjm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2020
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I showed my boobs for a free tattoo the other day.

A tit for a tat

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/goliathkat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
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People at our Christmas party were impressed when I showed off my incredibly detailed tattoo, but they didn't believe me when I tell them I got it done in Madrid.

Nobody expected the Spanish ink precision.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2019
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Got my first tattoo today

But it was only temporary.

(I see that image posts aren't allowed in this sub but gosh darn it, I earned this one. I throw myself on your mercy, mods.)
(Edit: Amazing, thank you for the silver, gold, and the platinum reward of Reddit: long self referential chains of bad jokes.)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theophan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2019
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I got a new tattoo because I wanted my friends to be able to count on me.

It read: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/randomredditor512
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2020
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"Do you know what?"

My kids have gotten to saying this a bunch, so now I reply like a dad...

"Oh ya! We went to the same New Year's party once."

"Sure! He makes the best crab dip."

"Big beard? Lousy tipper?"

"The tattoo guy?"

"Biblically."

"Gave him a 5-star Uber review."

"He was the best man at my wedding."

"I think I owe him $20."

"The bouncer at the club!? How do YOU know him?"

"Doesn't he work at the bakery next to PetSmart?"

"I heard he once punched a cop and broke his nose!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/uncorked119
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2021
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Me: See? To prove I'm not a boring house dad I went and got a tattoo!

Her: Oh, cool! It's.. uh?

Me: (proudly) It's my thermos! From work!

Her: (reaching towards me) Well, uh, the line work is certainly..

Me: (slaps hand away) Don't touch the thermos tat.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 680
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HIGHxCLASSxHOBO
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2020
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I'll never forget when my dad told me, "Find yourself a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you!” A little taken aback, I asked him what he meant. He explained...

β€œShe knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2020
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Found Martin Griffiths on comic con, he did commissions and drew me a tattoo :D
πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Albme94
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 03 2020
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What do you call it when a woman trades sex for a tattoo?

Tit-for-Tatt

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Malak77
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2020
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My daughter got the letters Y and U tattooed on one buttock and the letters L and G tattooed on the other...

It's one messed up, ugly ass tattoo.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 29 2020
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A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building. Security stops him and says,

There are no firearms allowed in this building.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2019
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I'm bald and im going to get a head tattoo of multiple rabbits

So from a distance it looks like hares

πŸ‘οΈŽ 498
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BiscuitaBoyo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 03 2020
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My father recently got a new tattoo

It was of a Thermos flask that he took to work

I was just checking it out closely, just then he said

"Hey, don't touch my Thermos tat"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dadushka008
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 02 2020
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My dad just got a tattoo of a Thermos on his palm...

Now whenever someone tries to shake his hand he says "Don't you dare touch my thermos tat!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 144
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/koleslaw
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2019
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I got the word β€œOuch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My son asked me if it still hurts.

I told him yes, but it’ll heel.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lildinger68
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 28 2021
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I just got a thermos tattoo

Now I tell everyone, don’t touch my thermos tat.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 41
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KingJiggaMan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31 2020
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People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain.

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2019
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My dad always said, β€œ Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”

β€œShe knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2019
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My dad always told me, β€œFind a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”

She knows how to make a bad decision and still stick with it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
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How do you get a free tattoo

By showing your tit. It's "tit for tat"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xyz112233
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2020
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People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain...

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2018
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