UFO caught on tape

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
In order to find you a measuring tape,

I went to great lengths.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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I made you a mix tape! reddit.com/gallery/l12x9d
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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Sherlock and Watson arrived on the scene of a murder and the only clue was a measuring tape pulled out to exactly 12 inches.

Apparently something was afoot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kesavadh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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Why is it better to place the adhesive side of tape to each other?

Because tapes strong together.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PetGiraffe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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I ordered a self help tape called, "How to handle disappointment."...

When the package came....the box was empty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Invisible tape
πŸ‘︎ 357
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-oT-w-GoD
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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If a doctor fixes you up with duct tape…

He'll have turned you from being black and blue into being Red Green.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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A sex tape
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Humungobunonogus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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My tape measure fell asleep

I found it very inch-resting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vwraider
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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So I walked into my daughter's room with a tape measure the other day, and she was lying on her bed reading a book. I stood in the doorway and started slowly extending the tape measure, all the way across the room, until it touched her cheek. "What??" she asked me. My response...

"I'm measuring your patience!"

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Piccolo_Bass
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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I'm on the couch playing video games when my dad walks in with a tape measure

About five feet away from me he stops and starts pushing the tape out to me. It gets closer and closer until it eventually smushes against my cheek.

I ask him "What are you doing?"

"I'm measuring your patience."

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/caruano95
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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Duct tape is like the Force.

It has a dark side and a light side, and it holds the universe together.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BethJ2018
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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sex tape
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrissiKross
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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From my 7yo: β€œWhat is stronger than tape?”

β€œMore tape.”

When we last met he was but the student now he is the master.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/not_a_turtle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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The truth about duck tape
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IncompotentCyborg
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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I was setting up posts to put caution tape around...

And this old man asked if I was protesting. I explained that we were setting up wooden posts to keep people from parking too close to the building.

He said β€œlooks to me like you’re making a stand....get it?”

Eye roll

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PassivePlayboy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Man UFO Israel you can see they are caught on tape. (Caught on tape is taken from a post from this r/ but I don't remember u/ name from 2018)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BilakshanP
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Measuring tape
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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They all ways told me I couldn't make a joke about tape measurers

They told me I'd never measure up

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hot-hitler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
UFO caught on tape
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yugvijay
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What does the creator of flex tape run in?

Flex shoes; they make him go Phil Swift!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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Super hot sex tape
πŸ‘︎ 482
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ServalSpots
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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UFO caught on tape
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bub76
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Just got the Father-in-law with this one... Me: At Disney World parades they keep people in line with masking tape on the ground.

Father-in-Law: And do people actually adhere to it? Me: No, cuz they put it sticky side down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do guys keep a tape measure under their bed?

To measure how long they sleep!

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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My roommate Esther and I wanted to get a new rug for our apartment, but we didn't have a tape measure. So we had to use Esther's height to guess the approximate dimensions we wanted. We bought a rug one Esther wide by two Esthers long. You could say we...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/modestmolerat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m having an affair with a tape measure.

It’s amazing the lengths it will go to please me.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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FiancΓ© dropped a roll of tape..

He stepped on it and said to his coworker β€œoh shit! You caught me on tape”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CosmicallyKayla
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Caught a ghost on tape
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barco-de-vela
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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Sex Tape
πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pun420
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
🚨︎ report
UFO caught in tape
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πŸ‘€︎ u/perunamuusi567
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?

Hopscotch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imsketch42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
UFO caught on tape
πŸ‘︎ 207
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mryetifaceman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
🚨︎ report
My Dad asked for help with measuring but kept letting go of the other end of the tape measure

He was measuring my patience

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you tape two peaches together?

They are pitted against one another.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
UFO caught on tape
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FiddlyPosh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Using exactly 12" of duct tape to fix a leaking pipe is a Stop-Gap Measure

Duct tape used for everything, including puns

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirGreybush
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Bigfoot caught on tape
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwkwardAmeba
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Duct tape isn't ever used for its intended purpose...

But it DOES seal quacks in ducks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What is an alcoholics favorite kind of tape?

Scotch tape

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manaphy099
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I figure it’s finally time for me to get famous by releasing my sex tape.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Furters_44
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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Ufo caught on tape
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spookyAGENT
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
They're lots of options when buying tape and duct tape gets a lot of recognition but i've

Always found transparent tape to be the clear winner.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/josefransisco
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
🚨︎ report
When tape was first invented a lot of people didn't like it...

They thought it was really tacky. It's pretty impressive it was able to stick around

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goone_unit
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Tapes have both sides A and B

It is logical that they will have a successor called CD

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πŸ‘€︎ u/igothyper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I got my girlfriend duct tape and packing tape

I've heard mixtapes are romantic

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/excalibron
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
🚨︎ report

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