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︎ Jan 20 2021
If a doctor fixes you up with duct tapeβ¦
He'll have turned you from being black and blue into being Red Green.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
it's day 22 of drawing puns for inktober. Duck tape
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︎ Oct 22 2020
A sex tape
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Invisible tape
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︎ Aug 07 2020
My tape measure fell asleep
I found it very inch-resting
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︎ Oct 05 2020
Did you hear about the new Deadpool mix tape?
Itβs Ryan Reynoldβs Rap.
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︎ Sep 26 2020
Duct tape is like the Force.
It has a dark side and a light side, and it holds the universe together.
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︎ Jul 03 2020
I was setting up posts to put caution tape around...
And this old man asked if I was protesting. I explained that we were setting up wooden posts to keep people from parking too close to the building.
He said βlooks to me like youβre making a stand....get it?β
Eye roll
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︎ Aug 27 2020
From my 7yo: βWhat is stronger than tape?β
βMore tape.β
When we last met he was but the student now he is the master.
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︎ Jul 10 2020
So I walked into my daughter's room with a tape measure the other day, and she was lying on her bed reading a book. I stood in the doorway and started slowly extending the tape measure, all the way across the room, until it touched her cheek. "What??" she asked me. My response...
"I'm measuring your patience!"
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︎ Aug 24 2019
sex tape
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︎ Apr 26 2020
Nice amount of tape
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︎ Mar 11 2020
I'm on the couch playing video games when my dad walks in with a tape measure
About five feet away from me he stops and starts pushing the tape out to me. It gets closer and closer until it eventually smushes against my cheek.
I ask him "What are you doing?"
"I'm measuring your patience."
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︎ Dec 29 2018
Man UFO Israel you can see they are caught on tape. (Caught on tape is taken from a post from this r/ but I don't remember u/ name from 2018)
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︎ Mar 20 2020
What does the creator of flex tape run in?
Flex shoes; they make him go Phil Swift!
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︎ Jun 16 2020
The truth about duck tape
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︎ May 04 2019
Measuring tape
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︎ Dec 18 2019
They all ways told me I couldn't make a joke about tape measurers
They told me I'd never measure up
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︎ Jan 23 2020
Why do guys keep a tape measure under their bed?
To measure how long they sleep!
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︎ Apr 22 2020
Just got the Father-in-law with this one... Me: At Disney World parades they keep people in line with masking tape on the ground.
Father-in-Law: And do people actually adhere to it?
Me: No, cuz they put it sticky side down.
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︎ Jan 18 2020
Iβm having an affair with a tape measure.
Itβs amazing the lengths it will go to please me.
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︎ Jan 26 2020
UFO caught on tape
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︎ Jul 29 2018
Super hot sex tape
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︎ Sep 07 2018
UFO caught on tape
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︎ Mar 21 2018
My roommate Esther and I wanted to get a new rug for our apartment, but we didn't have a tape measure. So we had to use Esther's height to guess the approximate dimensions we wanted. We bought a rug one Esther wide by two Esthers long. You could say we...
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︎ Oct 09 2018
Caught a ghost on tape
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︎ Jul 22 2019
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
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︎ Oct 09 2019
My Dad asked for help with measuring but kept letting go of the other end of the tape measure
He was measuring my patience
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︎ Nov 25 2019
What happens when you tape two peaches together?
They are pitted against one another.
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︎ Dec 05 2019
UFO caught in tape
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︎ Jun 01 2019
Using exactly 12" of duct tape to fix a leaking pipe is a Stop-Gap Measure
Duct tape used for everything, including puns
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︎ Dec 05 2019
Sex Tape
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︎ Jun 15 2018
UFO caught on tape
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︎ Sep 08 2018
UFO caught on tape
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︎ Nov 07 2018
Bigfoot caught on tape
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︎ Oct 28 2018
Duct tape isn't ever used for its intended purpose...
But it DOES seal quacks in ducks
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︎ Jul 23 2019
Tapes have both sides A and B
It is logical that they will have a successor called CD
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︎ Jul 27 2019
I figure itβs finally time for me to get famous by releasing my sex tape.
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︎ Jan 18 2019
What is an alcoholics favorite kind of tape?
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︎ Sep 14 2018
Ufo caught on tape
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︎ Oct 25 2018
I got my girlfriend duct tape and packing tape
I've heard mixtapes are romantic
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︎ Apr 10 2019
I needed some really strong tape, and I found some. I was disappointed when I found it could be torn.
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︎ Jun 16 2019
They're lots of options when buying tape and duct tape gets a lot of recognition but i've
Always found transparent tape to be the clear winner.
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︎ May 09 2018
When tape was first invented a lot of people didn't like it...
They thought it was really tacky. It's pretty impressive it was able to stick around
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︎ May 23 2018
I have this recurring dream that E.T. tackles me, puts grey tape on my belly, and runs away.
I keep getting ab-duct-taped by aliens.
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︎ Jun 21 2018
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