Talk Turkey Puns

I told her she better start trying alternatives soon, it's going to be hard to quit eating her current lunch cold turkey.

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!

What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!

Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.

What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!

Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.

The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.

How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!

No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.

Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!

What musical is about a train conductor? “My Fare, Lady”.

A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.

What animals are on legal documents? Seals!

Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!

Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.

Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!

How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!

Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!

Dockyard: A physician’s garden.

What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!

The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.

“What’s purple and 5000 miles long?” “Ooh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”

I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.

What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!

When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

If you're Hungary, eat Turkey on some fine China while you're talking to Chad. Just make sure it isn't covered in Greece!

Me and my mom were in the kitchen talking about the turkey,

Mom: I don't know what I'm going to cook the turkey in! (looking through dishes

Me: The oven?

Brother: Actually John Kerry doesn't talk to Hamas either. He uses Turkey to talk to Hamas.

Me: Well, they do more gobbling than talking.

Groans were had. (Except for my brother's friend who was tickled pink and gave me a high five!!)

They play Turkey.

Talking politics with friends, I think my friend might secretly be a dad.

This happened last night between my Father and my Sister. They were talking about Thanksgiving dinner and my sister wanted some pointers on how to cook her turkey next week.

Sis: After you take the turkey out of the oven how long do you let it rest?

Dad: I'm not really sure it depends on how tired it is.

Talking about a cousin-in-laws new boyfriend

> He's getting a Ph.D. in Statistics, so he's pretty smart

Me: Would you say that he is significantly smart?

Someone wanted the stuffing:

> Did you know that when it isn't in the turkey it isn't called stuffing, but it's actually called dressing??

Me: Just don't put it on your salad

The parent's and my wife groaned but the little kids thought it was funny.

So Christmas morning. We're all opening presents, and my dad and uncle do a bit of a double team. My dad started talking about this thief who went about and stole a bunch of turkeys from a local supermarket.

My uncle then replied "ah I heard about that. The police suspected there was a bite of fowl play"