I went to a fortune tellers conference. They had free t-shirts.
I made matching t-shirts for the members of my fortune tellers club...
But it turned out not all of them were mediums
Why did the blouse break up with the t-shirt?
Because he didn’t collar.
One of the T-shirts in my closet asked the other one : Whats up mate.
The other T-shirt replied : Nothing much. Just hanging out here.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
I saw a midget wearing a t-shirt with the slogan "I hate black people" on it...
I thought to myself... "that's a little racist"
What do you call a reptilian detective that wears a sleeveless shirt that just can't let something go?
My new business failed miserably, I was selling T-shirts featuring glow in the dark dollar bills
But then my Dad reminded me: money doesn’t glow on tees.
My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour.
I said, “Wait! I can change!”
Wow I was a wreck last night -- t-shirt under sweat clothes, under two cotton sheets, under a polypropylene comforter, and a quilt on top of that! I could NOT get warm!
I can't imagine how miserable I'd be if I didn't have that can of Pringles in the cupboard....
I bought me some of those new paper shirts. I don't like them -
[A British Joke] I was wearing a T-Shirt with an anchor on it and my Dad put the letter 'W' on the left side of it
He then said that's what you are son
On Halloween, I will be wearing a normal everyday T-Shirt
I'll be going as a Casualty
My Asian friend owns a business where he twists and binds white t-shirts then soaks them in colored liquid...
I even have one of her Thai dye t-shirts.
I went to the doctor, and he said I was overweight. I'm not allowed to wear white T-shirts any more.
He told me I have to dye it.
I once had a job in a t-shirt factory
I once had a job in a t-shirt factory. Every day, t-shirts would come down the line, and using this big rubber stamp, I’d apply a handful of dots to them, at random, to just given them a general design that wasn’t blank t-shirt. It was soul sucking, but it paid the bills.
However, I kept running into a problem. I wasn’t applying the dots fast enough. It was a mental thing - I’d get hung up on where should I apply the next dot so it doesn’t look bad, etc. But one of the guys who’d been there longer than I had gave me a piece of advice. He told me to cross to my eyes. That way, I could just kinda zone out and hit the t-shirt a few times randomly without paying much attention to where exactly I was applying the dots. It worked like magic.
Well eventually I was getting ready to leave the factory and they had me train my replacement. It only took one day. I left him with one piece of advice. I told him not to get too hung up on the specific details but just to make sure he dotted his tees and crossed his eyes.
There's an amendment in America for people to wear T-shirts.
I call it "The Right To Bare Arms"
What’s the difference between a man in a suit on a bicycle and and man in shorts and a T-shirt on a unicycle?
The cops are warning us about a serial killer who strangles his victims using smaller and smaller T-shirts.
The police are saying that he’s still at large.
I found a T Shirt from the Respiratory Health summer camp my Mom went to from 25+ years ago..
What do you call white t-shirts that are too small?
I was going to buy a t-shirt for my daughter.
On the label it said "Age: 10-11 years."
I thought, no way am I buying her a t-shirt that is that old.
There was this T-Shirt joke I used to know as a kid.
But I’ve grown out of it.
For his birthday, I bought my friend a “I am A Nudist” t-shirt.
I haven’t seen him wear it yet.
My wife was wanting to throw a shirt into the dryer to get the wrinkles out but she wanted to spray it with water first. She couldn’t find a spray bottle close by so she instead grabbed the iron to spray it... talk about the ultimate irony.
“Insert tank t-shirt here”
I had this idea for a T-shirt. It would say “Guaran” all over it
I’m sure it will sell really well in the market. It’s a guarantee!
T-Shirt gag for JoKing
Hey
Have mother in laws 50th birthday coming up. We are getting T-Shirts made up and we want to have T-Shirts made up for the guests and one made up for the mother in law. Her name is Jo King.
We are having thoughts on
She is turning 50? You gotta be JoKing for the guest T-Shirt
I’m Jo King and I’m turning 50 for the mother in law shirt.
Any better ideas then this?
I asked for some Cubans for my birthday, but got a Che Guevara T-shirt instead.
La Cost of this t-shirt was suspiciously low.
I wasn't gonna tell the host that I considered wearing a t-shirt covered in poo to his party.
But in the end I decided to come clean.
What do you call an egg in a stupid t-shirt?
I bought a Microsoft Office themed T-shirt.
Have you guys heard of those new paper T-shirts?
Did you hear about that guy who took t-shirts and twisted them up and tied them with rubber bands, then dipped them into buckets filled with different colored liquids?
A lot of people won't wear a shirt with a Jewish lampstand printed on it.
I, however, am in the Menorah tee.
My arch enemy pointed at my T-shirt which read "Never forget WW2" and said "I bet you're so stupid you don't even know what the second W stands for".
I stared dead at them, pointed, and said "This means War!"
My favorite t-shirt in the museum of science in Chicago
What did the t-shirt vendor say to the psychic?
"What are you, a medium?"
My dad on a little kid's skeleton t-shirt
"You should really eat more, I can see your bones"
he really shouldn't tell those any more, we can all hear the groans
I walked up to my friend Travis and grabbed his T-shirt. "Know what this is?"
Him: "No..."
Me: "A travesty."
Hey, I just bought a brand new t-shirt...
What do you call a reptilian detective that wears sleeveless shirts and just can't let something go?
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