My wife asked me to stop quoting Taylor Swift lyrics all the time

I never saw it coming, wouldn’t have suspected it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tim_owens
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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Taylor Swift is not what she seems

I sent her my trousers to be taken up by 4 inches over 3 months ago

and I still haven't had them back!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Goldygold2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift

Because she had bad blood

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πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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Teller Swift
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kay_joshi
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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Taylor Swift could further increase her revenue by opening an express alterations shop

and calling it Tailor Swift

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timeexterminator
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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What is Thanos' least favorite Taylor Swift song?

Endgame

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chandru1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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Who is Taylor Swift?

Is she fast at stitching clothes or something?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bonham_Starr
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
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Shake It Off by Taylor Swift (Harry Potter cover)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sombez
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
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Trailer Swift
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmberWoo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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Trailer Swift
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sealedbeak
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2017
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Why doesn’t Taylor Swift have to worry about vampires?

Because she’s got BAD BLOOD....🎼

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beaverpudding
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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What kind of dressmaker does Taylor Swift use when in a hurry?

A swift tailor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucidus_somniorum
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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Phil Swift had a Christmas Party

He calls it Flex Seal Navidad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Mariposa5487
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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I wonder if mosquitoes like Taylor Swift

Because she has bad blood

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adriana-Robledo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
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In the abandoned building down the street from "Tailor Swift" I'm going to open a sketchy-looking alteration service...

called Seams Legit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegodawfultruth
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2016
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I've been going to rehab for my addiction to Taylor Swift lyrics.

I think i'm finally clean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeAndMyHobo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
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Taylor Swift got attacked by a boa constrictor...

Fortunately, she was able to shake it off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StephenHunterUK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2017
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Did you guys hear? Tom Hiddleston is dating Taylor Swift

Don't tell anyone else though, they're trying to keep it Loki

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xanothis23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2016
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What is Taylor Swift's favorite vegetable?

This. Sick. Beet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LJokay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2016
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Dad asked me about the new Taylor Swift album...

Dad: "Have you heard the new Taylor Swift album?"

Me: "1989? Yeah."

Dad: "Oh no, it was much more recent than that."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/monkeycookie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2015
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My mom dadjoked me over Taylor Swift leaving Spotify

http://imgur.com/gcNcIYP

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πŸ‘€︎ u/samtasam
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2014
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My Taylor Swift dad joke

I'm a dad. I came up with this one yesterday.

"I thought Taylor Swift was a same-day hemming service"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Terpene
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2014
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What did Taylor Swift say when she entered a ruined building?

I knew you were rubble when I walked in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarvelHulkWeed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2015
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I told my Dad that I didn't like the new Taylor Swift song.

He said, "You just gotta shake it off!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sunfistkid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2015
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An infomercial hosted by a guy named Phil Swift came on, and my buddy says...

"Watch out for Phil Swift, he'll pull a fast one on you."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bradlomac
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2014
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What is better than Taylor Swift?

Cobbler Slow.

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πŸ“…︎ May 01 2014
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Why do vampires hate Taylor Swift

She HAS BAD BLOOD

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πŸ‘€︎ u/astronaut12
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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Why didn't the vampire bite Taylor Swift?

Because she had bad blood.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/glyph-bellchime
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
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