I swerved to avoid hitting an amphibian with my car and landed in the ditch.

My car is toadaled.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/patron_vectras
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Driving down the road, dad suddenly swerves the car and says...

"Oh my god! Did you see that?! I almost hit that flea in the road!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrMasterBlaster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2013
🚨︎ report
You hear about the cop who got busted for driving while intoxicated?

He thought he was supposed to protect and swerve.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Entree_The_Giant
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
So I was talking to my friend yesterday about their recent accident

They told me that recently they had come into ownership of a small ball of string. At first, they thought nothing of it. One day, they walked into their house and the ball of string was on the table, when they had specifically left it in a closet. They put it away again, but the next day when they came home from work, the ball was on the table again. It kept happening, and eventually it became a sort of game for my friend. They'd leave it somewhere they thought it could never come back from, and return to find it on their table.

Then it began to appear in other places.

It appeared in the middle of a company meeting. One moment, the table was empty, the next, it had a ball of string in the middle. While driving, they spotted it in the back of their car. They saw it inside of a vending machine. But at the end of every day it would return to their table.

Eventually, my friend decided enough was enough. They took the string, and threw it off a bridge into a river. As they were driving home, a car swerved and hit them, wrecking both cars. My friend staggered to check on the other driver, and all he found was a small pile of soggy string on the seat.

After that, he never saw the string again.

So after he told me this tale, I turned to him, and said, "Wow... that was quite a yarn."

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justcaleb2001
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A hearse is driving up a very steep street

A hearse is driving up a very steep street and once it gets near the top, the back door opens up and the coffin comes shooting out of the hearse and rolls down the street.

People are diving out of the way, cars are swerving, it’s chaos! By the time it reaches the bottom of the hill it has picked up a lot of speed and crashes into a wall surrounded by people.

The door pops open, the body sits up and says β€œDo you have anything to stop this coughin?”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/countryroads8484
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Poor little bunny

A doctor is driving home one night along a lonely road when a rabbit suddenly bolted in front of his car. The doctor swerved and tried his best to stop, but it wasn't possible and the car hit the bunny.

He immediately pulled the car to the side of the road and got out to see if he could help the poor bunny. It didn't look good. He raced back to the car to retrieve his bag, but realized almost instantly that he was driving his wife's car and so his bag wouldn't be there.

He frantically rooted through the glovebox, trying to find gauze or water - anything that could be useful. He found a bottle of what he expected was water and brought it back to where the bunny was laying. With great care, he poured a cap full and let the bunny drink.

To the doctor's amazement, the rabbit sprang back to life - jumping up on his hind legs and wiggling his tail. He smiled at the doctor and waved as he began to prance back toward the woods. He hopped a couple of feet, paused, turned and waved again. Hopped another few feet, turned and waved yet again. He reached the edge of the trees and again, he turned and waved at the doctor.

Stunned, the doctor brought the bottle up to the light to see what magic potion he had discovered. Squinting his eyes, he read the label aloud, "Hair restorer with permanent wave".

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Good God No!!

One time I was hiking with my dad and we got caught in a rainstorm. As we were driving back I was changing out of my wet shirt in the car. And as soon as my shirt was up over my face he yelled "Good god no!!" and started swerving and beeping the horn. I thought I was going to die. Thanks dad.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/albert_camus69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
🚨︎ report
After all these years, he's still got it.

Being a father of my own, I'm still envious of the masterful skill in which my dad can come up with his material. While driving down the interstate, a Miller Lite truck pulls out in front of us, more quickly than he should. My dad swerved to the left to avoid my door from getting broad sided by a tractor trailer. I yelled from being startled.

Me: He almost hit us!

Dad: We're fine. I can handle this.

Me: He almost totaled the car! What if he had hit us? I could be dead!

Dad: Nah, you would've been fine. It was Lite beer.

Me: (jaw dropped in awe and amazement)

πŸ‘︎ 235
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/taggsyoureit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2014
🚨︎ report
What kind of ice cream do drunk drivers like?

Soft swerve!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/A_perfect_sonnet
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad got into an accident.

Dad: The police stopped by the house today.

Me: Why?

Dad: Last weekend I was visiting my friend in the backwoods. As I was driving, a pig jumped out in front of me. I swerved to avoid it but ended up hitting it. I got out of my car and noticed it was not going to live. The pig had to be over 100 pounds, and there wasn't any way to move it. I look around and couldn't see anyone. I decided to leave the pig in the road figuring people would drive around it and scavengers would eventually take care of it. But today the police stopped by to question me about it.

Me: No one was around, right? How did they know you hit it?

Dad: The pig squealed. Dad laughs as I fell right into it.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/philipmcgroin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2014
🚨︎ report
Driving with the family when...

Driving home with the whole family in the car, and there is a duckling crossing the road in front of us. My mom, who is driving, swerves and says, "I think I hit him." After a few seconds of speculation, my dad replies, "Well that whole experience was fowl."

Happy fathers' day dad.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisfrat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2014
🚨︎ report
Managed to get my dad

Driving home, a pigeon sat in the road and I swerved to avoid hitting it.

Dad: "I would've hit the little fucker."

Me: "I wouldn't be able to do that, I couldn't live with the emotional bird-en"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maelstrom197
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.