Subscripts Puns

I'm pretty sure I left a bad impression.

It's my retirement plan.

Only Flans.

I had to tell him it was a Naan-starter.

You have my word

Apple Fools!

Now they’ve started sending me threatening letters.

I said, "Is it Sirius?"

I told the that that's a feature of "Uncle Premium" and their attitudes only get them the basic subscription!

it will only let me watch episodes 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13

I've been tricked, I've been backstabbed, and quite possibly, bambezoed.

It was my Time lapse.

Would that be a cents off humour failure?

It’s called Matcha the Day

I don't get it.

It's tearable news

Well, they said there weren't any strings attached

I’m worried about my cousin. He’s 28 with a good job. Has a lot in common with me (nerdy habits: board games, gaming conventions, anime etc). Unfortunately I have recently learned that he is one of those poor souls obsessed with Belle Delphine. Apparently it started out innocently enough. My cousin is into cosplay. He’s into girls. Ooh, there’s cosplay girls on the internet? What began as a YouTube channel subscription and a few dozen likes on Instagram has progressed into something much more serious. This man is spending money. My cousin’s social media accounts have recently featured pictures of him with his Belle Delphine merch. T-shirts, body pillows, there’s even some kind of bed spread/comforter with her googly-eyed tongue-outy face on it. Did you know that Belle Delphine briefly partnered with Tom’s shoes for a limited edition series of footwear? I knew that, because my cousin won’t shut up about how he bought them all. He’s got at least three jars of dirty bath water and a gaming keyboard with her face on it. It’s really sad. I think the isolation of the pandemic really exacerbated his behavior. He says that he and Belle are destined to be together. For my part, I’m telling him that this isn’t healthy behavior, and I’m encouraging him to seek counseling. I’m convinced he has a mental health issue like Obsessive Love Disorder or Erotomania. Afterall, he does have all of the Simp Toms.

It's a pay-as-you-van-Gogh model.

ANNforgivable, ANNother One, bANNed, ANNdroid, ANNticlimactic, ANNbelievable, ANNemployment, ANNcharted, ANNgry, ANNlucky, ANNseen, ANNalyze, ANNadvised, ANNafraid, ANNaided, ANNapologetic, United NatANNs, AmericANN, CanadiANN, IndiANN, JamaicANN, BritANN, JapANN, AsiANN, HumANN, ANNoying, DirectANN, ProductANN, DestructANN, RegeneratANN, AcceleratANN, AbsorptANN, AccommodatANN, AccumulatANN ActANN, additANN, SubscriptANN, SubtractANN, MultiplicatANN, DivisANN, EducatANN, AssumptANN, AppreciatANN, ANNything.

But I canceled my subscription.

They had such great shavings.

Edit: Title should be subscription, wtf autocorrect

So I turned off the burner and renewed my subscription.

So I signed up for a Prime subscription and restocked my bookcase.

He probably has quite the hair-care bill, but I'm sure he's willing toupee for it.
It seems that everyone on the internet is Russian to say good things about him.
After his inauguration speech, everyone gave him a big hand.
His favorite winter Olympic event is the LYUUUUGE!
The other half of his supporters can be described with ancient, mystical legends: the Deep Lore-ables.
Nobody will be able to use cheap cotton drapes or table cloths after his ban on muslins.
Since the start of the cold war, many U.S. presidents have pissed off the Russians. Trump is the first to be accused of pissing ON them.
I subscribed to his newsletter because I never turn down a free MAGA-zine subscription.
Melania got used to everyone crowded into Trump Tower during the campaign. Now that everyone's gone, she looks around and it's just a little Barron.
Joke that inspired me is here : https://www.reddit.com/r/puns/comments/5p4ebt/on_donald_trumps_inaguration/

You park your car, man.

(Creds to my Google joke subscription)

My girl friend's Sirius satellite radio subscription ran out and she hasn't renewed it yet.

Her: I'm going to die with out my Sirius! I hate the regular radio

Me: Siriusly?

Her: ಠ_ಠ

Via text message

Now they have started sending me threatening letters.

Now they're sending me threatening letters!

I haven't kept up my subscription to Scrabble Club.

Now they've started sending me threatening letters. :D