Stayed Puns

then it dawned on me

I was dazed.

It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.

I guess you could say there were pirates of the Care-I-Be-In.

It was a vile inn

It was an inn-side joke.

They would’ve been lunatics.

He's on a roundhouse kick.

So I went for a nice walk through the cemetery

I mite stay there again.

He was Putin on the Ritz.

It was a so-be-it union.

The next morning, it dawned on him!

Then it dawned on me.

Happy Father’s Day

I called the front desk, and told them, "I got a leak in my sink".

They told me "go ahead".

https://imgur.com/a/1VVnfTN

"next to Denny's"

I think he has an issue with swimsuits

My friend had a really interesting job. One of those jobs you didn't know people could get.

tl;dr just read it, it's worth reading the whole description of the job

Before I moved, my neighbor's job was based in Antarctica. He worked with one of the research centers there, and his job was standing up penguins. I kid you not — when shipments arrived by air, like by helicopter or by airplane or whatever, the penguins would all look up with their tiny heads and look up so high they would fall over backwards. Now, penguins are super awkward in how they waddle everywhere, and so, not wanting to disturb the local environment, the research station had to have someone that could suit up and go out there and stand up penguins.

As soon as every shipment arrived, he would say, "Welp, better go suit up now," get into the whole penguin suit, and waddle out there all incognito and stand the penguins on their feet again. I'm sure they could have done it on their own, eventually, but the idea was to disturb the animals for as little time as possible.

I thought it was the most ridiculous thing when he told me, but he got the job through his dad's researcher colleague. Basically, the deal was they would get people to go down for 3-month periods (I think he ended up doing 6 months) and this was his occupation for that time. Actually, is plane flight there was one of the really cool parts: LA went to Sydney, which then went back across the Pacific to Buenos Aires. Then, on the final leg, he would finally go Buenos Aires to the research station. The planes actually had to be specially fitted for the job, though — Of course, you can't have typical runways in Antarctica because they'd get ice all over them and there'd be all these problems — so the planes had to have mechanics on board each flight who would, mid-flight, switch out the take-off wheels for the landing skis. Just like a sea plane, except it was a snow-plane. Coolest thing ever.

Oh, but the way he described working with the penguins was the best! Most of the time he'd just go out and stand them up, but sometimes one would hurt itself. Like one time one of them fell over backwards and hit its foot the wrong way, so he had to not only pick it up, but give medical help, too. He seriously had to prop up the penguin, take off his glove, and pull on each of the penguins little webbed toes, pull on their legs. Sort of like how I'm pulling your leg right now.

I don't know what all the fuss is about Mel atonin', because I didn't get a wink of sleep.

Mom's boyfriend: Do you know anything about Jazz? Me: What? Him: Get J'azz back in school.

When he returned home this morning I looked at the car and yelled "did you leave the car out in the rain last night?"

His look of terror faded into disbelief that he fell for it.

During the goodbyes my Dad said "We'll make sure to put out a welcome... Matt next time you come down".

After a few seconds to unravel the monstrosity that had just left my Dad's mouth, we groaned and walked away.

finally it dawned on me.

Then it dawned on me

Then it dawned on me.

And then it dawned on me.

Then it dawned on me.

And then it dawned on me.

Then it dawned on me.

Then....... it dawned on me

The next morning, it dawned on him.

Then it dawned on me

...then it dawned on me.

then it dawned on me

Then it dawned on me

Until it dawned on me.

It was the Radishon.

Then it dawned on me 🤪 👕 👖 👟

Then it dawned on me

Then it dawned on me

Then it dawned on me.

And then it dawned on me

Then it dawned on me.

And then it dawned on me.

And then it dawned on me!