"And Tigger?"
wondering where the sun was and then it dawned on me
There were just Googly eyes
I didn't know y
It would be less pathetic if she just let me in.
Then it clicked.
A chicken sees a salad.
Friend: I just watched Euphoria.
Me: Did you also watch Eu-three-ia, You-too-ia and You-won-ia?
Where the fuck did my roof go?
It was ribbiting.
The nun asks why he’s staring, so the cab driver says, “Ever since I went to Catholic school, I’ve fantasized about kissing a nun.” The nun says, “I’ll kiss you, if you’re single and catholic.” The cab driver says, “I’m both.” The nun says, “Pull into an alley.” The nun proceeds to kiss the cab driver in a way that’d make a hooker blush. Back in the cab, the driver begins crying, “I lied… I’m married, and I’m Jewish.” The nun says, “That’s okay, you’re forgiven. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party.”
It's fantastic for raisin awareness.
Because it said concentrate.
"Stop staring at my leavage!"
I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
I think it's because he really was poorly executed.
...it said concentrate on the bottle.
Where the fuck did my roof go?
Took a little longer than I thought it would though.
Standard Shattered.
“Well, I’ll be. A chicken sees-a salad!”
I think I’m having day-job view.
He told me while looking into the septic tank:
"Just looking back at all the shit our family has done this year"
Me: was I unmuted?
and asks the bartender if they have any grapes. The bartender, puzzled, says no. The duck leaves and returns the following day, waddling into the bar to hop up on a stool and yet again ask the bartender, “do you have any grapes?” Bartender curtly replies, “no.”
The duck returns the following day, struts on in, jumps up on his stool and loudly asks the bartender once more, “do you have any grapes?” The bartender now over their limit says, “no! I don’t have any grapes! And if you ask me that again I’m going to nail your little webbed feet to the floor!” Duck jumps off his stool and leaves.
The following day the bartender is fuming to see this duck come flip flopping through the door yet again, jump up on a stool and stare at them. The duck clears his throat and politely asks, “excuse me sir, but do you have any nails?” The bartender says, “no.”
“Well then” stated the duck, “do you have any grapes?”
I don't think they were that excited, when I took the stage I was just met with blank stares.
When I asked him what it was called he screams: "CAW! CAW! CAW! CAW!"
Not knowing what he meant I stared him down until he explains that it's "four good caws".
The guy sighs. "I feel that there is space between us."
The other smirked and replied, "Czech, mate."
He gave me a blank stare.
The second scientist says "I'll have some water too. Wait... why did you say H2O? Like, I know it's the chemical formula for water and all, but it's the end of the day and there's really no need to intentionally complicate things like that in a situation outside of work".
The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plan has failed.
Harrison Fjord.
I think it was a steak out.
A stoner.
chicken-sees-a-salad
A chicken Caesar salad.
A chicken sees a salad.
Chicken sees a salad.
A chicken sees a salad
Chicken see's a salad.
Chicken sees a salad
I paused for a second while I thought and said, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
A chicken sees a salad.
Chicken sees a salad
Chicken sees a salad
Chicken sees a salad!
