I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. “Nothing” I slurred. “Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”
I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
I saw 2 cows staring at me from behind the bush.
I think it was a steak out.
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Mother in law came for dinner and asked, "Why does your dog keep staring at me?"
"Because you're using his plate."
Last night as I lay in bed staring at the stars I thought to myself
Where the heck is the ceiling?
My friend today is intentionally staring at the sun to cause eye damage.
Look on the bright side, today will be the last time he sees 2020....
This lady at the supermarket is staring at me, like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant...
....and then put it back on the shelf.
I once saw a guy staring at a can of orange juice, and when I asked him why he was doing that,
he said, "because it says 'concentrate' on the can."
I have an obsession with staring at seaweed...
...I need to seek kelp for this addiction.
I can’t stop staring at Uranus
I woke up at midnight to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor staring at me from the foot of my bed...
First I was afraid, I was petrified.
I can cut a piece of wood by staring at it.
It's true. I saw it with my own eyes.
I was winning in a staring contest once...
and it was all taken away in the blink of an eye.
Please help. What does this pun mean? I've been staring at it for 3 hours. Friend who went to Crete.
My girlfriend said she was staring at her computer screen and couldn’t think of what to write.
I told her she must of been literary exhausted.
Staring at people is weird. Stop
Did you hear about the new Aladdin movie staring on a ship?
I heard it's in a hull, new world!
A rock kept staring at me.
What did the waitress say to the man who wouldn't stop staring at her while she refilled his glass?
Take a pitcher, it'll last longer!
My friend was staring at some women...
Because they were chicks he claimed it was birdwatching.
A pencil challenged a pair of curtains to a staring contest
My win in the staring contest got tossed out.
They claim I tested positive for stare-oids.
Something was wrong with my shoe so I went to the shoemaker. I gave him the shoe, tried to explain what was wrong with it, but he already knew; he was staring into its sole
Have you ever tried finding the frequency of a wave just by staring at it?
A dad and his son are staring at a Walmart bag that's stuck in a tree.
Dad: Hey son, look at that Walmart bag up there!
Son: I can see it! I wonder how it got there.
Dad: Do you know where it came from?
Son: No, do you?
Dad: Walmart.
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. “Nothing” I slurred. “Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”
I paused for a second while I thought and said, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
I saw two cows staring at me from behind a bush.
I think it was a steak out.
What do you call a Chicken staring at lettuce?
I can cut wood just by staring at it
It's true, I saw it with my own eyes
What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?
What do you call a chicken staring at a lettuce?
Why was the girl in the grocery store staring at the orange juice?
Because it said 'concentrate'
I can cut a piece of wood just by staring at it...
It’s true, I saw it with my own eyes...
What do you call a chicken staring at a head of lettuce?
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
What do u call a chicken staring at lettuce?
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
What do you call a chicken staring at a bowl of lettuce?
Why is that guy staring at the can of orange juice for 3 hours now?
Because it says "concentrated"
Hey Son, what do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
What do you call a chicken staring at a piece of lettuce?
What do you call a chicken that is staring at a lettuce?
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