Walking through a graveyard I saw a man crouched in front of a grave so i said "Morning"...

...he replied "No, just taking a shit."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skubbags
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2018
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I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.

That's just how I roll

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πŸ‘€︎ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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Why did Barty Crouch JR stop drinking? /r/harrypotter/comments/h…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarmoonEater
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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Why did Barty Crouch Jr. stopped drinking? reddit.com/r/harrypotter/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mementh
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
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Why does Barty Crouch Jr. drink so much?

Cause he's Moody

  :|
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pokemon192
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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Why did Barty Crouch Jr stop drinking?

It was making him Moody.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FistOnFire
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
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Sometimes i like to crouch down, put my head between my knees and lean forward..

Cos THATS how i roll.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gnrlp2007
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2016
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Got my dad with this one

Currently staying at a hotel with my dad. Next to the parking lot there’s a sign that says β€œpet grounds”, pointing to where you can walk your dog.

My dad reads it aloud, β€œpet grounds”, so I say β€œalright then”.

I crouched down, pet the grass a little bit and said, β€œgood grounds”.

Got a good laugh out of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/j_t_n
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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There was once a priest who went to see the world after taking his oath....

After many years of wandering, he finally arrived in a small village in the middle of nowhere. The people there believed in the same religion as he did, but they had no church; they had to go to the nearest one which was in a small town 25 km's from there. The priest took the initiative, asked the Church for support, and with the help of the local men they built their own temple. From there on, he was celebrating the Sunday masses, joining together men and women in Holy Matrimony, and saying prayers at the funerals.

Many years passed by like that.

At the end of an ordinary mass, in early spring, on a chilly Sunday morning he was just guiding the people out of the church, was about to close the gates when an unknown man stepped into the churchyard.

With his dirty and torn clothes, he stood before the priest and said:

  • Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was a good man, and even though he thought the request was a bit strange, he went back to the rectory, took out a lemon, cut it in half, took it back to the man and gave it to him, who looked back to the priest with gratitude. However, the priest was curious. He asked:

  • Son, why do you need this half of a lemon? - with a fright on his face, and before the priest could have said a thing, he rushed out of the churchyard gate and took off.

A week later, around the same time, when the priest was leaving the church, he found himself in front of the same man in the churchyard. The man said:

  • Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was surprised by the appearance of the man and his strange request. Of course he was good, went back to the rectory, and brought the half lemon. Placed it in the stranger’s hand and immediately he asked:

  • Here it is, my dear son, but please tell me why do you need this half a lemon? - the man was obviously frightened and immediately ran away but the priest was not sluggish either and ran after him. He wasn’t in a very good condition, he has never run so much and so fast before so he was out of breath by the end of the village, almost fainted. He thought the strange man might appear again next week, and it would be nice if he could keep up with him, so he spent his week working on his cardio. It turned out to be a good idea, because as he thought, the stranger entered the churchyard on Sunday. The priest didn’t even wait for the request, he was good, and brought the half lemon. He received these words from the man:

  • Thank you

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doty152
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
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Why did the 10th Doctor never feel like he owned the Tardis?

Because he was just a tenant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Got_walked_in_on
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2015
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Walking next to my Mom yesterday...

My brother and I aren't super tall by any means (both 6'1") but we tower over my 5" 5' mother.

So last night, after going to my other brother's choir concert, we were walking back to my car. My brother turns to me and says "hey /u/Devchar96, let's pretend we're as short as Mom." He then crouch walked.

My response? "Nah, I won't stoop to that level."

I'm so proud of myself guys. I feel like I'm finally qualified for Dad-hood!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Devchar96
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2016
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How do you sell a caravan to a dwarf?

crouches down

"Do you want to buy a caravan?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sam0n
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2015
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I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.

That's just how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 434
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orduk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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Sometimes I like to crouch down with my head between my legs and lean forward

Cos thats how i roll.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gnrlp2007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2015
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I was walking through a cemetary...

...when I saw a man crouching behind a headstone. I said "Morning", and he replied "no, taking a shit."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brassens71
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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