Staff Member Puns

The blast was heard 3.146 miles away!

I work at an Aquarium. Our sister site is a Zoo, and when we have quarterly meetings for all staff members, they call the meeting State of the Zoonion.

I am really trying to come up with a comparable name for our Aquarium all-staff meeting that features some good Aquarium/fish humor. Help!

At the Nestle factory today a member of staff was seriously injured when a pallet of chocolate fell more than 50 feet and crushed him underneath...

He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he shouted "The milky bars are on me" everyone cheered.

Staff members told me that the dwarf seahorse was quite small.

I didn't skip a beat, stating "yeah, he's a bit shrimpy".

I have an autistic student who doesn't pick up on sarcasm, social cues and the like.

We were painting paper mache volcanoes that we made. Another staff member says "Don't put too much paint on because it will run."

Without missing a beat the student asks (in a serious manner) "How can it run if it doesn't have legs?"

We went out as a family to a country park at the weekend and decided to get some ice creams. We sent my Dad, my Uncle and my Brother to the window on the side of the cafe to get them, but they were understaffed and both members of staff were focussing their efforts on making sandwiches on Baguettes.

My Uncle and Brother started grumbling about the wait;

"Don't rush him" says Dad, "he's on a roll..."

A woman was asking one of the female staff members for a strip of electronics. She came back with some wires and said

"I've gotta strip for you is that okay?"

Without hesitation my dad says

"Yes, please"