My girlfriend is a square root of -100
Perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
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︎ Mar 27 2021
What is the square root of a cat?
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︎ Mar 31 2021
Square root (credit to u/fatfatlama)
π︎ 102
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︎ Feb 26 2021
In a world where people with superpowers make up 1% of the world population, people with two make up 1% of that 1%. These people born with two superhuman abilities are called squares.
Squares are raised to a second power.
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︎ Mar 29 2021
What do you call a horny square?
π︎ 89
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︎ Feb 25 2021
Square root
π︎ 14
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︎ Feb 26 2021
Why did the statistician hesitate to apply the square root transformation to the data on annual hate crimes?
She didn't want bigotry to be normalized.
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︎ Feb 28 2021
What do you call 100 penguins in Trafalgar Square?
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︎ Feb 16 2021
Why did Eminem prefer the Johnson & Johnson vaccine?
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︎ Mar 21 2021
Physicists are playing hide and seek in the afterlife. It's Einstein turn to seek. He counts to 100, turns around and notices Newton in a 1m*1m square. Hah, Newton, I found you!
See Einstein, the problem here is that you discovered Pascal!
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︎ Feb 26 2021
I forgot to post this on Pi Day. Oh well! The Argyle Sweater for 3/14/21
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︎ Mar 15 2021
"Length times width times height. Pi times r-squared times h. Four-thirds times pi times r-cubed."
This really speaks volumes.
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︎ Feb 08 2021
Why is six afraid of seven?
7 was a well known 6 offender
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︎ Feb 11 2021
So proud of my 6 year old. While teaching her to hit a softball, I told her to βsquare up on the ballβ
She replied βthe ball is round daddyβ (with a straight face) So I tell her βno, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!β
She grabs the ball, stares right at it and says βIβM REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BALL!β Then throws it right back at me.
Proud dad moment.
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︎ Jun 23 2020
Donald Trump should drop the ball in Times Square on New Years Eve
He certainly has plenty of experience
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︎ Dec 31 2020
I don't know why people expect Time's Square to put on a decent New Year's Eve show.
They're always dropping the ball.
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︎ Dec 31 2020
I put my root beer in a square glass
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︎ Dec 27 2020
If someone mails you a square can of meat, DON'T open it!
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︎ Sep 03 2020
Patel was teaching a boy named Ed basic geometry, which he was failing to grasp even on the most basic levels. He mistook squares for triangles, circles for hexagons and so on...
So Patel tried to go to the lowest level and put a dot on the paper.
"What this, Ed?"
"A line?" the boy replied.
"I... I expected more from you. I'm... This a point, Ed."
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︎ Nov 09 2020
A Bishop's Twitter Post
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︎ Nov 29 2020
What does the square root of 2 like to describe something awesome as?
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 08 2020
I poured root beer in a square glass, now I have only beer
π︎ 89
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︎ Jul 14 2020
Why is 6 afraid of 7? (The answer is not what you're thinking)
Not what you're thinking.
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︎ Feb 10 2021
Why was 4 afraid to ask out 5?
Because he was 2 squared.
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︎ Jan 20 2021
Mrs. Dracula, from the living room: "Count Dracula!"
Count Dracula, from the basement:"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6..."
π︎ 6
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︎ Apr 07 2021
6 was afraid of 7 because 7-8-9, but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day
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︎ Apr 05 2021
Why wonβt triangles go on dates with circles?
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︎ Dec 01 2020
Scared af
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︎ Nov 02 2020
A square-root
π︎ 89
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︎ May 11 2020
Why are City Morgues always square?
It's because of all of the coroners.
π︎ 14
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︎ Sep 04 2020
Being a teen can be a very challenging, especially when you turn 13.
You're in your prime and everything feels very odd
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︎ Apr 05 2021
What animal is shaped like a square ?
π︎ 17
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︎ Jul 23 2020
You know, out West they're started to ban those big round bales of hay you see in that field over there..
.... The cows aren't getting three square meals a day.
(Also, to those who tell dad jokes at every opportunity, I really appreciate you. As a person who grew up without the joy of a pops embarrassing me with terrible jokes, I was always bewildered by the stereotype. Recently though, I've been taking a microeconomics course I was dreading having to take and my professor has "big econ dad" energy. There's a joke every few minutes in his lectures and they give me the energy to keep going. You are appreciated. Even if your kids, spouse, partner, friends, strangers groan at you, undoubtedly someone out there really appreciates your goofiness).
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︎ Apr 14 2021
I still remember the moment when my math professor told us what the square root of -1 was.
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︎ Jun 25 2020
A pun-net punnet square
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︎ Jun 03 2020
A square ran into a dead end while running away from hundred of circles
π︎ 2
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︎ Sep 15 2020
If you need to find the longest side of a moose
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︎ Feb 04 2021
How did the circle know the square had nothing on him?
Because he said he had him cornered.
π︎ 32
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︎ May 25 2020
What do you call a horny square ?
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︎ Feb 26 2021
I put my root beer in a square glass
π︎ 38
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︎ Nov 10 2020
Why do they say, be there or be square?
Because you're not around
π︎ 17
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︎ Nov 21 2020
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
A perfect 10 but purely imaginary.
π︎ 19
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︎ Nov 01 2020
If I poured root beer into a square glass,
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︎ Mar 29 2020
My girlfriend is the square root of - 100
She's a perfect 10, but completely imaginary
π︎ 39
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︎ Aug 22 2020
My girlfriend is like square root -100
A straight 10 but imaginary too
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︎ Sep 20 2020
Why didnβt 4 ask out 5?
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︎ Jan 19 2021
I poured root beer into a square glass
π︎ 39
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︎ Jul 28 2020
What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
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︎ Apr 27 2020
We all know that 6 is scared of 7 because 7 8 9 but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you need 3 squared meals per day
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 06 2021
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