Idea behind each: Upvote = burger flip motion for burgers flipped, hence my 1k karma / burgers flipped
Downvote = Drop your spatula, that was an actual bad joke, kinda like this post.
And always remember, hereβs one in Spanish: Uno.
He said it was our "Tina Turner."
Keep on turnin', doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo...
This is Japan, this is ja-spatula, this is ja-whisk, this is ja-wok, this is ja-mixer, this is ja-fork, this is ja-spoon, and these are ja-chopsticks.
It was my spatula pad.
Count Spatula.
Have a spatula-ette party.
The most eligible spatula
My wife was just babywearing our 11-week-old while she cooked dinner. As she did so, she was having a conversation both with our daughter and all the utensils.
"See, all the food in the pan is going sizzle sizzle sizzle! And we use Mr. Spatula to move it around. Say hi to Mr. Spatula! And then once it's done, we're going to put into Mr. Strainer. Can you say hi to Mr. Strainer?"
"Hey!", I interjected, "Absolutely not! Don't you go teaching her to talk to strainers!"
Bf and I were doing some re- plastering in the house yesterday. All the spatula work was really starting to hurt my wrist.
Me: "Damn, honey. My wrist really hurts from all this work."
Him: "Would you say you need some wrist training?"
Me: "Hmmmm...yeah I guess that would help..."
Him: "Then you need a wrist training order"
groans
The other day I made lasagna for my family. Half of us love mushrooms while the other half hates them, so I usually make two.
Me (pointing to the individual ones): "That one has mushrooms and that one doesn't"
My dad got a sad look on his face when looking at the one w/o mushrooms and said, "Awh, this is terrible. I can't get the spatula in."
Me: "Why not?"
Dad: "There's not mush room in there"
Her Husband: "I hope you have a big enough spatula"
I lost it
Spatula of Arts.
I find a tiny spatula while I'm washing and I said, "What is this? A spatula for ants?"
Only to be promptly responded to with, "I'm sure it's for uncles too!"
sigh
I saw a girl trying to spread butter on a bagel with a plastic spatula earlier today in my dining hall. She was struggling a little bit, so I leaned over and told her that if she just used a metal knife, she'd be able to spread that butter
Me: Can I have a tip?
Dad: Get a job!
I groan. He prods a steak tip with his spatula
Dad: Do you want it well done?
Me: Uh...
Dad: Then work hard!
I was looking forward to all the dad jokes at Benihana last night, and I was not disappointed! (Also, epic onion volcano!)
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Our chef says "Who wants egg roll?" and then rolls an egg across the cooking surface.
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When the chef added butter to the cooking vegetables, he threw his bowl of butter into the air a couple times and said "Look! Butterfly!"
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While prepping the shrimp, he put all the tails on his spatula and asked the 6-year-old at the table "You ordered just tail, right?"
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He put one sesame seed on his spatula, showed it to the 6-year-old and said "Japanese diet!"
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Our chef checks with everyone who ordered steak to see how they want it cooked, then says to the people who ordered chicken "For chicken, everyone want rare?" and then he laughed when one of the girls at the table got really confused.
I'm sure there were more that I can't remember once the sake kicked in.
We're on our way to replace my laptop charger, which overheated and completely fizzled out last night. She's asking me if I can check if it's properly dead or not my plugging it back into my laptop. I'm afraid that the brick is burnt through, which would overload my computer.
"No, Umma. What would I do if my computer starts to fry?"
Completely straightfaced, she mimics holding a spatula and deadpans, "Flip it over."
Girl: So have you seen Pan yet? I heard it was good.
Me: No but the Pot is pretty great.
Girl: No I meant the new movie, the origin story of Peter Pan.
Me: Oh no, I haven't seen it. But I heard Sally Spatula was also a great story. It was a good flip ending.
Followed by twenty minutes of me giggling while she walked away shacking her head.
While starting on the eggs for the fried rice, he separated the yolk from the whites and started bouncing it on his spatula. He turned to a guy at the table and said "Ready?" as though he was going to toss it to him for a catch, then once we'd all made adequately horrified faces, he replies "I'm just yolking!"
