What do dogs get when their joints get sore?

Arf-ritis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lamecomment
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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"Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway!" My youngest son thought of that all by himself and shared it with us during Christmas dinner!

He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Honolulu...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Why did the pony have a sore throat?

Because it was a little horse.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shotintheship
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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I got a sore throat after eating some Christmas decorations.

I had to get my tinsels taken out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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I had sore throat once

Took me few vicks to recover.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonp27
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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What do you call a sore Bruce Banner?

Q: What do you call a sore Bruce Banner?

A: Bruised Banner

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chainboost
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Do you guys know about that dumb "Sore Us" marathon for charity?

You're supposed to run until you can't anymore or something like that...? I was thinking of trying one out but honestly I don't know how good I'd do I'm an awful runner...

My friend Tyrell tried one last year and said it was the hardest thing he'd ever done...

I still can't believe Tyrannosaurus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DracoREXXX
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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I’m feeling pretty sore after tripping over some clams.

I think I might’ve pulled a mussel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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This mummy is sore...

It needs a Cairo-practor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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Look out for cold sores when sharing candy this Valentine's day...

Mine went from Mounds of Joy to Herpes Kisses.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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I went to the docs because of sore feet..

He said "Gout."

I replied "But I've just got here."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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A man goes the doctor complaining of a very sore leg.

He gets in early at 11.55am, and tells the doctor his leg is sore.

He then explains that he’s also experiencing some other weird things with the leg.

The man explains to the doctor that every hour on the hour, his thigh asks for money.

The Doctor is a bit perplexed, but waits until 12.00 and uses his stethoscope to listen to the thigh.

Sure enough, at 12.00 the Doctor hears the thigh say β€œHave you got 10 bucks. Can I borrow 10 bucks, I really need the money”.

The Doctor doesn’t understand what’s going on. Then the man says, at every quarter hour, my knee also asks for money. At 12.15, the Doctor listens to the mans knee through his stethoscope where he hears the knee say β€œHave you got 20 bucks. Can I borrow 20 bucks, I really need the money”.

The Doctor is even more befuddled.

Then the man says, at every half hour, my ankle asks for money. At 12.30, the Doctor listens to the mans ankle through his stethoscope where he hears the ankle say β€˜Have you got 50 bucks. Can I borrow 50 bucks, I really need the money”.

The doctor tells the man he doesn’t know what’s going on. It’s something he’s never encountered before.

The Doctor asks the man to come back in a week where the Doctor will do some research in the interim.

A week later the man comes back and asks the Doctor if he has any news.

The Doctor says yes – he’d done some research into the problem and found that the mans leg was broke in 3 places

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewMacSydney
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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A sore neck was the inspiration for my wife and I to make up this joke together...

A man was telling his friend that his neck was sore. His friend asked him, β€œwhat happened”? The man said that varmints had been tearing up his yard and that he had been spending hours digging through the dirt trying to repair the damage. His friend says, β€œgo for massage and that should take care of the problem”.

A couple of days pass and the two meet up again. The friend asked the man, β€œhow did it go?” The man says, β€œwell, I have to tell you, they are hard to catch, but once you get ahold of them and get started, those gophers sure seem to like their massage”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdinmd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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Sticking out like a sore thumb
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diov2Void
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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Do you want to hear a joke about a giraffe with a sore throat?

Forget it. It's too long.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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I just got a sore throat.

It's a real pain in the neck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Harrymego
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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What food is best for a sore throat?

Lamb coughta

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BanoffeeBoi35
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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What do you call it when a pirate has sore joints?

Arrrrrthritis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/surgicalfunnel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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People who pick their scabs are sore losers.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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I woke up this morning with a very sore throat.

Last night, in the kitchen, I was talking to the colander and I think it strained my voice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abunchofcliches
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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I kept leaving my local bar with a sore butt.

So I took some stool softener.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kalekent
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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What did the home inspector say to the sore loser?

Nobody likes a bad support.

(Okay, that was bad. Need better ones please!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haidukenshiruken
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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I didn't think caffeine would give me a sore throat...

... but every time I have it I get coffee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ADogNamedPal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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What do you call a mummy with a sore throat?

I don’t know.

Sir Cough I guess.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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Me: β€œMy leg is sore because I drive a stick.”

Dad: β€œNo, you drive a car!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keepyoureyeson
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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A guy at the poker table was complaining about a sore throat and a couple minutes later says β€œ I hope there’s Halls back at the hotel”.

Me being half baked asked how else would he get to his room?

Awkward silence for about 5 seconds then the dealer starts laughing and then everyone else. I got complimented on my dad joke.

I’m not dad, I’m just baked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Craigrets
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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How did the driver end up with sore wrists?

He kept using the carpool tunnel!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EroniusJoe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What the best way to package cold sore medicine?

In a blister pack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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A man went into a doctors office to ask about his sore stomach

The doctor said β€œquit your belly aching”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LargeHamster69
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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The Gingerbread Man goes to the doctor for a sore knee.

The doctor told him to try icing it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ParoxysmAttack
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
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What do you call an owl with a sore throat?

A bird that dont give a hoot.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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I'm gonna create open sores software...

...and stay on the bleeding edge of technology. But if you don't like my software, you can suture self.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
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Told my family I was telling jokes in my sleep and woke up with a sore neck.

That's what I get for sleeping funny on it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reydeguitarra
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
🚨︎ report
"Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway!" My youngest son thought of that all by himself!

He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska...

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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What do you call a pony with a sore throat?

A little hoarse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway! ~ My youngest son thought of that all by himself!

He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska...

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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What do you call a donkey with a sore throat?

Hoarse

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shabbos_roller
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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What do you call a horse with a sore throat?

Hoarse!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_graveyard152
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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What do you call a pony with a sore throat?

A little hoarse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raclex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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What do you call a pony with a sore throat?

A little hoarse

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kvervandi-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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What do you call a pony with a sore throat?

A lil 'hoarse'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DubiousPotat0
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A Little Hoarse.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatindiandood
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
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If you found a pony with a sore throat

Would you say it was a little hoarse

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XChainsawPandaX
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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What do you call a pony with a sore throat?

A little horse

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_McMuffins
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
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What do you call a pony with a sore throat?

A little horse

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πŸ‘€︎ u/burtman72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report

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