I sold my vacuum cleaner...
It was just gathering dust.
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︎ Mar 06 2021
I was walking down the street and ran into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.
π︎ 12
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︎ Mar 22 2021
What type of flour is sold at airports?
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︎ Feb 13 2021
"I sold my car to a guy without airbags," said my friend.
I said, "I don't know any guys that come with airbags."
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︎ Mar 20 2021
Where is corn sold?
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︎ Jan 25 2021
With all this snow lately sledges have been sold out everywhere. . .
So I have borrowed my sisters sledge, she doesn't mind because we are family.
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 13 2021
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
π︎ 14
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︎ Feb 03 2021
After running it for nearly 30 years, my dad just sold our family owned Jewish deli.
I can't believe he gave up the lox, stocks and barrel.
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︎ Feb 10 2021
My friend sold all his AMC shares...
He says he couldn't cinema future growth :(
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︎ Feb 04 2021
One of my friends told me he was opening a clothing store that sold everything except for hats.
I thought he was pulling my leg, but when I asked him, he told me "Yeah man it's true, no cap."
π︎ 14
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︎ Jan 07 2021
I sold a couple ducks today
π︎ 67
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︎ Oct 18 2020
Sold, to the man in the uniform!
π︎ 10
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︎ Oct 20 2020
I sold my old vacuum cleaner...
... it sucked. All it did was gather dust.
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 28 2020
I just sold a house with ferns throughout and a safe in the attic
The buyers loved that it was fully fernished with a vaulted ceiling
π︎ 17
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︎ Oct 16 2020
I sold my Chevy electric car, missed it so I bought it back...
I know, pretty re-Volting!
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 16 2020
Just sold my homing pigeons on eBay.
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︎ May 25 2020
I sold a Chess set to my friend. He asked if all the pieces were there.
π︎ 31
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︎ Sep 08 2020
In addition to Taiwan, the US has also sold torpedoes to Vietnam. Rather than pay money, they traded with a huge bulk of food. The weapons are now called ...
Pho Ton Torpedoes.
(A consequence of reading a front page post about the sale to Taiwan while watching ST:TNG.)
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︎ May 21 2020
The XFL was just sold to Dwayne Johnson and a couple of investors for $15 million...
..now that's a Rock bought 'em price.
π︎ 24
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︎ Aug 07 2020
I sold my washing machine last week because i had a $20 bill in my last wash
I didnt want to be caught money laundering
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︎ Feb 08 2020
Today I learned that the band Nirvana sold its own brand of gum.
It was called Smells Like Green Spearmint.
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︎ Apr 29 2020
Did you know the Roman armies sold milk products wherever they went?
People still talk about it today. It was Legion Dairy.
π︎ 23
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︎ Jun 24 2020
My boss at the movie theatre asked me why I haven't sold any M&M's
I told him it's not my fault they're hard-sell candy.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 28 2020
What do you call a computer sold in 8 pieces?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 17 2020
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 04 2020
I sold all my body parts to feed my gambling addiction.
Maybe I should quit while Iβm a head.
π︎ 14
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︎ Jun 07 2020
There was this shop in my hometown located where two streets met, they sold things like embalming tools and other specialty tools for working on dead bodies. This store was also known as....
π︎ 11
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︎ Jan 08 2020
My dentist sold his socks after checking my teeth
he had incisor information
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 22 2020
The food bar at the internet cafe was sold out today
I couldn't get a single byte
π︎ 8
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︎ May 21 2020
Why do balloons filled with helium cost more than balloons sold in packages?
π︎ 44
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︎ Dec 19 2019
What happened to the guy that sold land mines shaped like prayer maps?
The prophets were through the roof
π︎ 14
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︎ Dec 08 2019
Iβm writing a book about a guy who sells shoe parts to satan. Itβs your basic βSold my sole to the devilβ novel.
π︎ 44
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︎ Dec 11 2019
Hope my "Mr T" mask stops Coronavirus, they were all sold out of "Face" masks.
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 03 2020
What sort of corn is sold at student unions?
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 22 2020
Did you sell it for more? No, I sold it for lease.
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 17 2019
Did you hear of that fake metal that was fraudulently sold to companies as "steel"? It turned out to be an alloy mostly made up of tin. Guess you can call it FORGED steel
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︎ Nov 26 2019
The devil was sold a bunch of leaky fountain pens when visiting Turku, which used to be the capital of Finland.
π︎ 31
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︎ Feb 04 2020
I sold my vacuum cleaner today..
All it was doing was collecting dust
π︎ 101
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︎ Nov 17 2020
I sold my vaccum cleaner today .
All it was doing was collecting dust .
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 25 2020
i recently sold my vacuum cleaner
all it was doing was gathering dust
π︎ 45
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︎ Oct 20 2020
Yesterday I suddenly ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 30 2020
I was walking down the street and suddenly ran into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.
π︎ 26
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︎ Sep 13 2020
Yesterday, I bumped into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.
π︎ 9
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︎ Jul 10 2020
Recently I bumped into the guy that sold me an antique globe.
π︎ 4k
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︎ May 08 2019
Today I bumped into the guy who had sold me an antique globe.
π︎ 6k
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︎ Nov 10 2018
I was walking down the street and ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.
π︎ 36
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︎ Mar 06 2020
I sold my vaccum cleaner
Because it was just gathering dust
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 20 2020
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