Shit pun
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︎ Apr 28 2019
Holy shit!
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︎ Jun 01 2021
A literally shit post XD
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︎ May 26 2021
Because I always take my shit to the next level
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︎ Feb 23 2021
My friends love scaring the shit out of me.
With friends like that, who needs enemas?
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︎ May 21 2021
Quality shitpost
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︎ May 29 2021
I like to shit at 11:59pm and end at 12:05 am
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︎ Mar 12 2021
No wonder he did a shit job
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︎ Apr 06 2021
What do you call the fake shit you use to wash your hair?
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︎ Apr 08 2021
My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun.
Big deal. I have had a Canon printer for years.
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︎ Apr 23 2021
Whatβs the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a commaβs a pause at the end of a clause.
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︎ May 06 2021
So, earlier I was replanting my succulents and I offhandedly mentioned to my fiancΓ© I'd like to do gardening shit with my sis...
He replied, "She'd be super helpful since she's a HOE."
#mypunssucc #punnyshit
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︎ Feb 28 2021
From my 9 year old son: Dad, what hand do you wipe your bum with? Me: My right hand......
Response: EEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR, I use toilet paper.
Well played, boy.
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︎ Apr 28 2021
I tried to explain to my four-year-old son that itβs perfectly normal to accidentally poop in your pants, but heβs not buying it. In fact...
Heβs still making fun of me...
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︎ Apr 03 2021
I'm in a band called Dyslexia....
We've just released our Greatest Shit album.
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︎ May 17 2021
Little Johnny has diarrhoea and asks his mom, "Hey mom, do you have Viagra?" The mom goes, "What? What on Earth do you need that for?" "Well, isn't that what you give dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"
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︎ Jan 23 2021
What did the Doctor say to the constipated detective?
π︎ 8k
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︎ Apr 06 2021
Why did the painter shit on the floor?
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︎ Mar 11 2021
No shit.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Why did the baker smell like shit?
Because he kneaded a poo.
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︎ Mar 17 2021
A guy I know just bought a bunch (almost a shit-ton) of soft foam footballs and kerosene...
I think his plans are Nerfarious.
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Apparently the COVID vaccine causes constipation
When I got mine the other day they told me I had to wait 3 weeks to get number 2.
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︎ Mar 27 2021
Only two things make me forget about all the shit that's going on with my life. Comedy and......
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︎ Mar 01 2021
I went to an Indian restaurant last night for some garlic bread.
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︎ Mar 27 2021
My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.
It was the hardest dump I ever took
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︎ Mar 06 2021
How dare they make someone else clean that up
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︎ Feb 25 2021
What do you call a reptile that's always starting shit on social media?
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︎ Feb 12 2021
A technique that has been used for decades
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︎ Feb 26 2021
why did Jim Band shit the bed???
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︎ Jan 26 2021
Iβve been going through a lot of shit lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
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︎ Jan 17 2021
A man came up to me and said "Man, your clothes look gay".
I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".
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︎ Feb 09 2021
My friend said that it is bad to keep shit in me too long
All i said was that i don't give a shit
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︎ Jan 02 2021
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little shit used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
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︎ May 26 2021
Why did the non-binary prospector head out West?
Because there was gold in them/their hills!
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︎ Feb 02 2021
What do you say to warn your family you're about to test a new dad joke on them?
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︎ Mar 11 2021
Do You Know What A Shovel Is?
A groundbreaking invention
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︎ May 30 2021
Boyfriend is sick of my shit lol
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︎ Sep 27 2020
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog shit
A lady came up behind me and slipped as well, I said I just did that, she slapped me and said use the toilet next time
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︎ Nov 19 2020
What to do when a black cat crosses your path...
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︎ May 02 2021
Today my friend asked me βWhat kinda shit would make you want to stay home all day?β
I said βDiarrhea for sureβ.
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︎ Jan 17 2021
I ran out of toilet paper, so I used newspaper instead...
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︎ Mar 25 2021
What's worse than ants in your pants?
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︎ May 26 2021
Why do bouncers throw violent drunks out the back door?
Because they belong behind bars.
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︎ Feb 16 2021
The most holy of shits
π︎ 5k
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︎ Nov 26 2019
Is the man in the moon naturally bald?
No eclipse it.
Actual dad joke told during the lunar eclipse this morning.
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︎ May 26 2021
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