The home button.
But in the end, he went back to ghost
It was pretty Loki
But that’s just projected figures.
In a way, I was beside myself.
A Christmas stalking.
They act pretty shady
A hippopotamus's shadow.
The shadow of an elephant
Its been living under a rock
...I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps!
Because she had a make-up exam!
Let's have a show of hands!
They really are fucking heroes
My dad couldn't resist the urge, and so, he shouted out:
"That's remarkable!"
They're always acting shady.
Hi unforgiving, I'm dad"
"Yes you are"
Shia LeScruff
My parents are in town for a visit. Keep in mind that I have a 3 year old, so the dad jokes have doubled around here lately.
We go eat and I'm sharing a big burger with my wife. It has a fried egg on it, which I don't like, so I gave her the half with the yolk in it. She bit into it and the yolk broke and dribbled all over her hand. Before I could say anything, my dad mumbles, "Looks like the yolk's on you".
I said, " NOOOOOOOOO you beat me to it!" as my wife and my mom rolled their eyes and groaned. I'm pretty good at the dad jokes, but my dad has the grandfather buff or something.
...I beat the air.
...awetumn?
Because it was powered by the dark side.
nobody knows!
...Now if only the prices would fall
They're not light enough.
A shadow.
Doctor: "How are you feeling today?"
Patient: "With my fingers."
It just feels like I'm living in the moon's shadow.
It’s shadow
There are now over a million subs for this silly, corny, beautiful feed of dad jokes.
Link to PROOF: http://imgur.com/ksprvA1
A million subs is a big number.
If we put a million subs end to end, we'd be able to reach a very small part of the way around the Earth... Double that if they were foot long subs, and we'd make it all the way around and more if they were the kind of subs that go under water.
That's why I'm amazed.
Well done everyone on being amazing dads with amazing dad jokes. No matter what kind of dad you are - inside or outside expected dad norms - keep the world laughing and shaking their head.
(I'll keep this stickied for a short period of communal celebration and then go back to the shadows as normal. Keep doing you, dads.)
Well, judging by the position of the sun and the angle of the shadows, I'd say it's....daytime.
So this is a bit long, sorry about that.
Zorro and his best bud the Lone Ranger were riding through the desert one day, I forget where they were heading to or where they had come from, but we can safely assume shenanigans of some kind were the driving force.
They have been travelling for most of the day and are starting to get tired. There has been a discussion about making camp for the night, but as things are they have agreed to continue riding for a while longer, till the sun starts to set. Away and off to the west the Lone Ranger spies a plant that seems to have large pink flowers that hang in strips with white stripes running the length of them.
"Zorro, what's that over there?" he asks.
Zorro turns in his saddle and raises his hand to shield his eyes from the sun. "Ah, it looks like a bacon tree, quite common in these parts. Let's ride on, there is a good place an hour from now to set up camp."
The two friends ride on and as the sun is beginning to descend the have stopped and are making camp. As Zorro begins to make a fire he says to the Lone Ranger, "You know, I quite fancy some pork. You ride back to that bacon tree and get some for supper, and I'll finish setting up camp here."
"No problem Zorro, I won't be long" replies the Ranger, jumping back into the saddle and returning the way they came.
Time passes, and the sun begins to get low in the sky. 'Odd', thinks Zorro 'he should be back by now.' Another hour passes and the shadows are growing longer. 'I might have to go investigate, it's not like him to take his time.' More time passes, and, just as Zorro has decided that he must go search for his friend in the dwindling light, he hears the sound of Silver's hooves. Looking into the gathering gloom he sees his friend riding towards him. As the Lone Ranger nears Zorro can see the Lone Ranger is injured, there are cuts and bruises and he has an arrow through his hat.
"What on earth happened, Lone Ranger? Did you make it to the Bacon tree?"
The Lone Ranger dismounts and sighs heavily.
"That weren't no Bacon tree, Zorro. That was an Hambush."
I don't think I ever got a knock-knock joke to work on my dad. Couldn't even get the damn thing off the ground.
Me: "Dad, knock-knock."
Dad: "Come in."
Serious frustration. What's worse is that I'd try again. I'd say, "No, but really: knock-knock." And he'd just say, "I already told you, the door's open."
My dad jailbroke the knock-knock joke on his own children.
It was pretty Loki.
A shadow
