A pediatric surgeon sewed his kids together as a new form of punishment.
If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
I sewed my dad's hand up after a glass related incident. After an hour or two and a couple drinks, I hear him yelling downstairs, "I FOUND AN IPAD IN THE MEDICINE CABINET!"
m.imgur.com/QUpaMIC
My friend writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter. Or sew it seams.
According to my sewing instructor, I'm easily the worst student she's ever had.
Oops... sorry, wrong thread !
8 y/o, "Dad, what does the space needle sew?"
Me, "I dunno, what?"
Her, "The fabric of space time!"
She told me that while we were watching the new years show at the space needle lol.
My wife has begun writing songs about her sewing machine
She wants to be a Singer-songwriter, or sew it seams.
I met a pretty cool guy who fixed my ripped shirt.
Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
What did the nun say as she sat down at the sewing machine?
This could be habit forming.
This left me in stitches...
What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing his own incision?
Yesterday was national sewing day..
Don’t talk to me while I’m trying to sew this small rip.
I've got a date with a woman form the sewing machine factory.
Why are pine trees bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles!!
I sat down to sew and wouldntchayknow it, the machine is broken.
Guess that was my last stitch effort.
Do you know how to make a net?
You just sew a bunch of holes together.
How did the farmer find his wife?
I thought my girlfriend looked like she wanted to get back into sewing clothes...
At least that's the way she seamed...
I was using my sewing machine the other day and started making musical notes, then i realized....
I shoplifted a sewing machine yesterday but I’m really regretting it.
It just doesn’t seam right.
To the EM who told me not to sew up your child's leg: Suture Self
Why did the woman felt uncomfortable whilst sewing
I recently took a job writing jingles for a sewing machine company.
My sister was hired to sew 8 bridesmaid dresses by Saturday. . .
She seamstressed but she’ll get it done. However her skills are only sew sew.
I saw a raccoon with a sewing machine, I asked my wife "Does that raccoon know how to sew?"
She said, "That's how it seams"
Why arent sewing classes called heminars?
How could a tailor become such a good lawyer?
Because he had lots of experience in sewing.
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, “Do you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...
“No thanks, I’m stuffed!"
Three sewing machines walk into a bar
The first says to the second, “Are you a Singer?”
The second replies, “Why, Janome?”
The third remarks, “Oh, Brother!”
I knew a tailor who was depressed before he went to sewing school
I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.
My friend composes songs about sewing machines
He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams.
My sewing instructor just told me that I’m the worst student she has ever seen.
My mate composes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter, sew it seams.
My friend composes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams...
My sewing instructor thinks I’m the worst student she has ever seen.
I write songs about sewing machines !
I need help with my sewing
I need help with my sewing
I write songs about sewing machines.
I write songs about sewing machines...
Everyone in my sewing class thinks I’m the worst they have ever seen.
I write songs about sewing machines.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
